Variants: :) I will always assist you in whatever you want. :( I want to kill you all by myself! Sense? Non? Fuck? Mind? Fission Mailed? Impossible Mission.

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A dinosaur is walking down the street. He is soon confronted by a human. The human says to the dinosaur, "Hey, your a dinosaur." Which the dinosaur replies with, "Yes, yes i am." The dinosaur then stands there for a few seconds wondering why he is in the same time period as the human. And as to why a dinosaur would talk.

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How do you make a toddler run faster? Chase it with a lawnmower.

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A man is traveling to the nearest grocery store. He stops at an intersection and notices a another car beside him. It was a black corvet. So he blew it up and the men inside of it as well. He then proceeded to call the cops as to try to cover the explosion up as if it was not his fault. Unfortunately, the police had video evidence of the incident through video surveillance and the man was arrested for life. He never got a second chance in life and eventually died a slow, painful death in the hands of cancer at the age of 91.

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Why can't you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom? Because they're extinct.

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Q: How many dead babies can you fit in a bath tub? A: This question has many different possible answers due to the range of sizes and shapes of bath tubs available on the market, and also depending on the size of the baby in question. It is therefore only possible to give a specific example.

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Q: IMAGINE that your in a heart racing battle with a huge grizzly bear when suddenly a bird picks you up and carries you to china and leaves you on the adge of a cliff which then you are chased by warriors and are forced to jump off the edge. What do you do? A: Wake up

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What has 389,236,587 arms, has rainbow colored fur, and fornicates on your front lawn? Absolutely nothing. That's pretty much physically impossible.

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A man walks into the bathroom. He dumps cat shit all over the floor

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A white kid, a black kid, and an Asian kid all try out for the basketball team. Which one makes the team? All of them, because they are all very good.

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How do I become successful like you dad? Just do good.

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What did the strawberry say to the elephant? Nothing. Because it's a strawberry and strawberries can't talk.

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i found the cure to cancer.......AIDS

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why does pink turn into blue it doesnt you just get hit by a frigde because you cried whe you got shot several times

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How many dead babies can you fit a bathtub??? It depends on how you slice them!

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A house comes around the corner.

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An alcoholic walks into a bar, but then realises he's ruining his family so he calls the rehab

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Roses are red Violets are blue, Eat my anus with a spoon.

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What is small, cries a lot, and moves at high speeds? A baby stapled to a car.

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Why'd the clown fall out of the tree? it died. Why'd the cat fall out of the tree? it died Why'd the chicken fall out of the tree? it was stapled to the clown

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Why did the boy kill his parents? Because he doesn't understand this joke either

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If rocks were people, what would you call a bunch of marble rolling down a hill? Rocks don't have the ability to be people.

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What did George Washington say to his men before crossing the Delaware River? "Men, we're crossing the Delaware River."

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What's more epic than a man in a gorilla suit? A man i a gorilla suit with a banana.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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