A guy walks into a doctor's office and says: "Doctor! Doctor! You gotta help me! One day I'm a teepee, and the next day I'm a wigwam, and then the next day I'm a teepee, and then the next day I'm a wigwam again. The doctor says: Sir, we've been over this 100 times! You have stage 4 pancreatic cancer...

thumb_up thumb_down -6

A Mexican, a Chinese man, and a cowboy are on a plane. The plane is crashing, and they need to get rid of anything to make the plane lighter so thet can glide to safety. The cowboy throws out all of his boots and says we have to many of these. Then the Mexican throws out all of his taco shells and says we have to many of these. Then the Chinese man throws out the Mexican and says we have to many of these.(:

thumb_up thumb_down -6

A red-head, a brunette and a blond are trapped on an island 10km from civilization. The red-head swims 1.5km's, but is to tired, so she swims back to the island. The brunette swims 3km's, but is too tired, so she swims back to the island. After watching the first two fail, the blond evaluates the situation and decides that she does not possess the swimming ability required to reach the 5km point (At which swimming back to the island becomes equally as far as swimming to civilization), and instead stays on the island and creates a signal fire out of bits of debris scattered on the island, getting rescued within hours.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why didn't the skeleton go to the dance ? "because he had nobody to go with" No because it was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

KNOCK KNOCK WHOSE THERE? AVOCADO AVOCADO WHO AVOCADO COLD THAT'S A RETARD JOKE HAHAHAHAHA GOOD 1

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why was the little boy crying? Because there was a hair in his burrito

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What were the murderer's last words before he was put to death by electric chair? "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH UHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH NNNNNFHGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.................................................................................................................." He then defecated in his pants.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What is green, has four legs, and if it falls out of a tree and onto your head, it will kill you? A pool table.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why did the boy fall off his bike? Because someone threw a canoe at him.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What did one ginger say to the other We have red hair

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Roses are red violets are blue ice-cream is yummy can I eat you

thumb_up thumb_down -6

I can't stand being in a wheelchair.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What do you call a man covered with cottoncandy and goes to the store and buys a jar of pickles? George

thumb_up thumb_down -6

You should read the Terms of Service.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

whats the difference between a black man and a cat? you dont run from a cat

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he wanted to

thumb_up thumb_down -6

moonshine most none americans think its just when the moon shines we have another story

thumb_up thumb_down -6

what do you call a black man in a cop car? a policeman

thumb_up thumb_down -6

what happened to the man that no one cares about? No one cares

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Roses are red, Violets are blue, That's okay, I'm not colourblind.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

knock knock , who is there the postman the postman who ? the postman who is gonna give you a bill !

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why did the blonde walk into the bar? To get a beer.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

How do you call leprechaun with leprosy? Sick.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because she was blind and deaf.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops