A pirate walks into a bar. The bartender says, "You know, you have a steering wheel down your pants?" The pirate says, "I know, I was just raped by a group of men who thought it would be funny to humiliate me as much as possible. The bartender then called 911 seeing that a horrible crime had just been committed.

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Why is the Holocaust/Worm in your apple joke the highest rated joke on Anti Jokes? Most of the viewers of this website clicked on a thumbs up symbol directly below the joke, which by the coding of this website triggered an algorithm that caused the number adjacent to this thumbs up button to increase and also caused the joke to appear higher on the list of most popular jokes.

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Q: Why couldn't Billy breathe? A: Because when the truck ran over him his lungs were crushed.

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A man and his friend walk into a bar. The first man says "I'll have some H2O." The second man, quite thirsty, says "I would like some H2O too." The second man dies because the bartender is a serial killer and gave the man the hydrogen peroxide he ordered. The first man is killed with a shovel.

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If a banana is a vegetable, how come your mother gets confused when I stick pretzels in my butthole?

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It's raining, its pouring, the old man is snoring. He bumps his head, and is quickly rushed to the ER for serious head trauma

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Fruit loops.

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What happens when 4 friends throw an egg into oncoming traffic, they hit a fire hydrant!

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Why did the gay guy walk into a straight bar To find the better looking guys

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I have read and agree to the Terms of Service.

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Q: How many burgers did little Johnny eat? A: Involuntary erections.

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What did the Golden Retriever say when asked about the meaning of life? woof.

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Why do you stick a baby in a blender feet first? So you can see the expression on its face...

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Wat did the man say to the other man when they were alone. We dont know. They were alone.

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What's the difference between Timmy and a car? Timmy can be brutally murdered.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting thrown in to a car and raped violently.

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an american walks out of a strip club.

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What did the girl get with no arms and no legs get for christmas? Cancer.

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What's big fat and ugly? A monster

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Whats faster than a black guy with a tv? His brother who is a dentist and drives a fast sports car.

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why should you not go to sleep in public? Because that's how you get raped.

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What did the black man do when KFC got his order wrong? He gave his receipt to the cashier and kindly asked for the correct meal.

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A man walks into a bar. He was the barman. [L]

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock Knock Whose there? Obviously not Suzie.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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