Why couldn't Jimmy run in the track race? Because he has been paralyzed since he was 3, due to a horrible accident

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Things i love to hate: Conspiracy theorists Religious fundamentalists Hypocritical people Sally (she has no arms) People selling pyramid schemes Liars, con-artists, thieves. Rapists, child molesters, serial killers Terrorists, politicians, and keyboard warriors That is all.

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What did the kid with no arms or legs get for christmas? A Wii.

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Women's Soccer.

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A man with Tourette's syndrome walks into a bar. Because of his disease, he shouts unexpected profanities across the room, and everybody in the bar bursts into laughter. The man cannot handle the humiliation anymore and goes home. He opens a drawer in his bedroom, pulls out a gun, and points it at his head. His wife walks in on him about to commit suicide. She is horrified. He then looks at her and then down, and he notices his one and only daughter by the age of 7 is by her side. The man ponders his reckless decision he was about to make. Moments later he and his family are holding one another sobbing in each others arms. A few days later the man goes back to the bar and shoots everybody there. Shocked and afraid, he curled up into a ball and regretted his decision. An hour later the police arrived and he was sentenced to life in prison for 3rd degree murder. His wife moved on and started a new family with his former best friend, and his daughter vists him every first tuesday of every other month. The man still suffers from Tourette's and cannot control his ticks and rots in jail. He continues to scream random obscenities for the rest of his life with no parole.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It felt like it, no particular reason. Why did the hippo cross the road? Same reason as the chicken. Why did the Fred cross the road? He was with animal control, and a chicken and hippo had just been reported to cross this dangerous stretch of highway.

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what would happen if every overweight person in america jumped at the same time? they would all get a little exercise.

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Whose your daddy? Not me

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whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? having your titties super glued to a triceritops' as cheeks while the triceritops has chronic diahrea

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. Traffic was too backed-up so the chicken took a different route.

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A jew walks into a church. he wishes to be touched by God.

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Why did the duck cross the road? Because he wanted to. Problem, AntiJoke community?

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How do you torture Helen Keller? Give her a cheese-grater and tell her it's a book.

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how do you wake up a really old man? you dont, he's probably already dead.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

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Why did Susie fall off the swing? She has no arms. Knock, knock Who's there? Not Susie

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Why was the cat meowing at the chicken? Because Sally got hit by a fridge.

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Hey, you why you say poo poo nae nae watch me whip, and do the dougie, and then happy halloween? Potato Salad

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what's the difference between northerners and southerners? southerners live to the south of birmingham, and they don,t stink of urine.

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What did the cheerleader get for christmas? Money, because she's a stupid w hore

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Knock knock. Who's there? The IRS, please get out of the way.

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404 Error: Joke not found

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Well Here Goes Nothing And nothing happened

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What did Michelle Obama get for Christmas? Cancer

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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