A guy walks into a bar carrying an octopus under his arm. The bartender asks him, "say, buddy, what's with the octopus?" and the man replies, "this is the most intelligent octopus in the world. In fact, I bet you $100 that it can play any instrument you give it." The bartender snickers at the other patrons, and puts $100 on the bar. He motions the man over to the piano by the wall. The man puts the octopus on the piano, but nothing happens. The octopus is dead, because it's been out of the water for a while. The bartender looks at the man sadly, as two psychiatric orderlies from the local mental hospital take the visitor away to the looney bin, after another patron called the police. The bartender never gets his $100, and now he has to clean up the godawful mess on his piano.?

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have amnesia! Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have amnesia! Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have amnesia! Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have amnesia......

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KANE TUCKER HAS A CHODE THE SIZE OF HIS FINGER NAIL

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What do a tree and I have in common? We would both be mad if we got turned into paper.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? she had no arms. Why doesnt she have arms? they got bit off by a shark. Knock knock. Who's there? Not the girl.

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Q: Why did the guy fall off his bike? A: He got shot!

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So a blond, a brunette, a ninja, a pirate, a priest, a rabbi, a mathematician and an engineer all walk into a bar, and the bartender says, "What, is this some kind of joke?"

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Wanna hear a joke? No? Oh

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My diick won't stop barking unless I take it for a walk, problem is, I can't find a leash big enough

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How do you like them apples I dont like aplles

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What is worse than a nuke exploding? Going to the hospital and finding out you have cancer and aids.

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A black guy, a white guy, and a Canadian walk into a bar what do they all have in common. They are all involved in my Joke.

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Guess what! What? huhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhu

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how do you kill chuck norris? you dont, killing is illegal

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What do you get when you put a blue bucket in the red sea? it gets wet

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Why did the dinosaurs go extinct? I don't know.

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what do 9 out of 10 people enjoy?............Gangrape

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What did the elephant say to the other elephant? Nothing. -Albert Einstein... LOL JOKES my name is PJ.

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if u read this u r bent A. Now your bent

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How do you get a Mexican's attention? "Excuse me, may I have your attention?"

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Why was the dog barking? Because I lit him on fire.

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Two great white sharks are swimming in the ocean together, one turns to the other to speak, but doesn't because sharks can't talk.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 brutally murdered 6's entire family.

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Why did Suzie's friend put rubbish in her mouth? Because Suzie is a rubbish bin.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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