It takes a minute to know somebody, an hour to fall in love, but a lifetime to forget. Once, my mom forgot me at Disney World.

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Q: You know what never gets old? A: The kids in a school shooting

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A duck walks into a bar. The duck walks over to the bartender and orders a beer. "put it on my bill." he says. The bartender angrily grabs the duck and kicks him out of the bar, because the duck has done this many times, but has never once paid his bill to the bar. The duck is an alcoholic and is slowly ruining his relationship with his family.

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Q: Why couldn't the skeleton go to the party A: He had a boner

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Children and bretheren, stinky cheese Stinkyy cheeeese. Like this or you will smell stinky cheese in your bedroom

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Mommy how come daddy went to the doctors today? Well sweetie, honestly daddy wanted me to shove things up his ass And I refused to so he went to the doctors so they can do it...

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Knock knock. Who's there? The Police. Your family is dead...

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Why shouldnt you take the virginity of a 14 year old? Their pre-frontal lobe is not developed enough to sufficiently judge the affect of this action on their life.

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Your mother is so fat that she has a very big butt and large breasts, which is quite attractive to some men, especially if they are open-minded.

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mary had a little lamb it's fleece was white as snow and everywhere that mary went it did a massive shit

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Why would Jesse Ziegenbein and Terran Hansen make a good couple? Because they both smell like shit and are fat as hell

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Knock Knock Whos there 9/11 nine eleven who? You said you would never forget...

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Hey I've got two stories. This one and the next one.

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Why don't woman wear watches? Because there is a clock on the stove!

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so a man walks into a bar, then the prison warden told him to calm doun.

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Q: What's worse than a baby nailed to a tree? A: Ten babies nailed to eleven trees.

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So you're flying around in your bathtub, how pancakes to shingle a doghouse? Airhockey, because pizza bagels can't cry.

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Q: You know why the floor is so clean? A: Because the janitor puts a lot of hard work into it.

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Whats worse than getting broken into by a robber? Looking at Obama

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Why was the man attracted to other men? Because he was gay, and that is typically what happens when people are attracted to members of the same sex, and it is as natural as a man being attracted to women.

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why didnt jane scream when she got robbed? Because she got shot.

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A black guy walks into a bar with a dog. He is asked to leave because his dog is not on a lead.

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When life throws knives at you, run away.

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What's green and has wheels? Grass i was lying about the wheels.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops