Pickup line: Hey babe, do you know what time it is? Because I don't wanna be late for class and if you told the time, it will surely help me because I'll be able to arrive early at my class not to mention it would greatly improve my punctuality efforts to help me pass the class this semester. Geez, I remember back in middle school there was a guy name Billy Jones and he used to always be late for class. His name was Billy but we called him Bill. Bill was his nickname but his real name was Billy. Anyways, he was always late for class because he would always make the best barbecue ribs in town.... (45 minutes later...) ....and I told Bill, "Man, if you were to just ask what time it was it would greatly help you in arriving to class early." And he was was like "I know but..."And then I cut him off and I said "But nothing. I don't care what kind of barbecue ribs you make, you just can't do that." So there I was, me and him, sitting down and .... (3 hours later...) ...it was awesome. Boy, I remember back in the early 90's when I was at elementary school, it was a stormy weather and we had to go to class. That's when I met Clarissa. She was a really nice girl and I remember there was a time when... (to be continued....)

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why do you park in the driveway and drive on the park way

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what happens when an Asian and a Jew get married. They have children.

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When you see birds flying in a V why is one side of the V always longer than the other? There are more birds on that side

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two men write a poem one says quack the other says woof what is the middle of the number witch is amazing because who ever is reading this you are beautiful and have chucken food ion your cheek bone connected to the knee cap indeed i shall write on to you guys saying how lovley it is TO MAKE FIRENDS WITH CHICKENS

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What did the women get after valentines day? An abortion.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Why can't a chicken cross a road without it being questioned?

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What happens when you mix mints with fizzy drinks Blast off

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to your house. Knock knock. Who's there? THE CHICKEN!

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What did the man on the moon say? ...Im on the moon.

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Roses are red Bacon is red Poems are hard Bacon

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Don't you hate it when someone starts a sentence and doesnt fi...

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Guy: I have a gun get in my van Girl: SHOTGUN!

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What is said about the man who is addicted to online gaming? He plays more than 5 hours per day and doesn't have any social contacts or whatsoever.

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human centipede

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Butterfly is standing on a flower. Cow comes and steps on that flower

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Why was chuck norris the anti christ? Christianity was being threatened....

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Why didn't Cheryl's mother recognize her when she was wearing a blue shirt and jeans? Because Cheryl's mother has Alzheimer's.

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What did the Jewish girl do when I asked for her number? Roll up her sleeve...

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What did the physicist say when he got his penis stuck in a test tube? Ah jeesh! I got my penis stuck in a test tube.

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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What is the Pirates favorite letter? C

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My daughter's so smart, that instead of texting K, she writes Potassium.

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How many babys does it take to paint a wall red? 7 and 24 paint brushes cause babys need do overs

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops