What did the prostitute say to the president of the United States? Good morning Mr. President. She had managed to leave the sex industry, finished her education and was doing secretarial work in the White House.

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A man is talking to his friend. The man suddenly picks up a banana. He says "hello anybody there?" The banana says "yes." After a while of conversing, the man suddenly puts the banana down in a sad type of way. The man then says to his friend "I'm sorry, but your sun has just died in horrible accident.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Being a chicken, it had no concept of roads or their dangers and was simply trying to find some feed.

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why did the woman leave her husband? after years of mental and physical abuse she has decided to remove herself from the situation

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What's the difference between a book and a house? Their names

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What's the difference between a blonde and a brunette? The pigmentation of their hair follicles.

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What starts with "F" and ends with "UCK"? Fuck.

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Hi im a joke i eat turtles

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Why did billy fall off his bike? Because billy was a loaf of bread.

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A black man accidentally walks into a white man......they apologize to each other and carry on with the rest of their day.

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A friend of mine said; the only vegetables that makes you cry are oignons. that was before I hit him with a watermelon

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You know why they call me Scuba Steve? Because I Scuba Dive.

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Why did the fat girl stop eating? She wasn't hungry.

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What sound does a dead cat make? Nothing, it's dead.

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What is the difference between a dead baby and a watermelon? One is fun to hit with a sledgehammer while the other is just a water melon.

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If a man shouts in a forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong? He could be, he could not be. It really depends on what he says. The greater concern is that he's shouting alone in the forest. Either he's in trouble or he has a major psychology disorder.

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has anybody else just skipped to the short ones

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Good friends are like snowflakes. They disappear when you pee on them.

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a black guy a mexican guy and a puerto rican guy are driving together in a car whos driving? Whoevers car it is.

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Why did the black man cross the road? He was going to meet up with his friend who happened to be Irish.

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What's John Lennon doing these days? Decomposing.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Ok

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Two black guys walk into a bar the bartender says get out

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Why did the black man fall down the stairs? Because he was blind

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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