why did the kid fall down the stairs? he had polio

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knock knock... who's there... i dont know i aint got a house

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What do you call a fish with no eyes? a fish:)

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I needed to write an article about heart disease so I did some research. I learned a lot.

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2 muffins were in the oven when one turned to the other and said. "Damn it's hot in here" The second muffin looked at him with a shocked expression and exclaims "She's burning the potatoes!"

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Why did the pirate get kicked out of the pirate movie? He killed 7 people while looking for treasure under the seats.

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Hey, in case you are around and still wonder how he got out. Anonymous tip from yours truly, if he had remained there, you would all have taken the blame. Just stay away from the deep web, and I wont be forced to come get all of you as well. For a long while I was suspicious that you might have been leaking information regarding me and all of us, but then the rules changed and information regarding Point Zero, subtle hints and such, began spreading, it has been removed, nobody will know what Intel was sold, so yeah, he was a mole, he is no more, for this I am sorry.

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Q: How do you make Kobie Bryant cry? A: Kill his family.

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Q :Why did the girl fall off the swing? A: She had no arms.

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Charlie Sheen Walks Into a Rehab Center.....

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Q: What do you call 10 babies at the bottom of the ocean? A: Dead

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Why are the deserts so dry? Obama

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What's Green And Has Wheels? Grass, I Was Just Kidding About The Wheels.

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What do you call Jake Morter? Jake Morter

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Did you know Helen Keller has a pool? no oh well she does.

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What is big has a red nose and is funny Don't ask me I have never been out of my house

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I hated hipsters before hating hipsters was mainstream. Does that make it sound like I have a fixed gear bicycle? Because I don't... I promise... What's a fixed gear bicycle, you ask? You mean you don't know???

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Knock knock. Who's there? Fire extinguisher. Fire extinguisher who? POMEGRANITES.

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A man sees another man standing at the edge of a tall bridge looking down. Man: Don't jump! No one wants you to die. You have your whole life to live and I'm sure you will find happiness somewhere. I was once in the same position as you, questioning if god really wanted me on this earth at all. But I decided to make something of myself and now I am a very successful business man. You can do the same if you just put your mind to it and put your troubles behind you. Other man: I was just admiring the view.

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A man was about to be assassinated. The assassin said "do you have any last wishes? The man said he wished that a meteor would fly down and kill the assassin. A meteor actually did come down but that was predicted years back. The meteor fell on the assassin and killed him, the man, and any living thing aboveground on Earth.

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What has two legs? Half a cat

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What do you call a fish with no eyes? The Mexican blind cave tetra (Astyanax mexicanus).

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A white man went to the basketball court to play basketball and was confronted by a group of black men. They kindly invited the white man to play basketball with them and they had a nice day

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Q. What's the difference between a duck? A. An orange.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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