Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She has no arms.

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What do you call a house big enough to fit all the poor people in America? A fairly large establishment without quality standards.

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Why did the squirrel fall out the tree? It was dead Why did the second squirrel fall out the tree? It was stapled to the first squirrel Why did the the third squirrel fall out the tree? Peer pressure Why did the fourth squirrel fall out the tree? It thought it was a game Why did the tree fall over? It thought it was a squirrel Why did the postman die? He got hit in the head by four squirrels and a tree

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? One is a human being belonging to a particular religious minority and the other is a delicious Italian food favoured by English speaking western cultures. The problem with this anti-joke is that the facts are not correct, pizza was originally invented and China; however,it looked quite different then what might be considered pizza by our standards, when pizza was brought to Italy it was improved to make what we now consider pizza in modern times. While some people may consider pizza an Italian food, this would be failing to give credit to the Chinese who invented it.

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Q: Whats worse than dropping your ice cream? A: Dropping two ice creams. Q: Whats worse than dropping two ice creams? A: The Holocaust. Q: Whats worse than the Holocaust? A: Dropping three ice creams.

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Why did the Jewish man leaves a coffee shop without leaving a tip? He was homeless and spent his last cents on the coffee.

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(To the pretty girl at the bar) "Was your father a thief? Because I really would like to have sexual intercourse with you."

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One time i was sitting down

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what is worse than gay sex wiping your ass with sandpaper

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A bra walks into a dyslexic man.

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how do you make a plumber sad? tell him to pull up his pants

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Have you ever tripped over a leaf? No. Neither have I.

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Chuck Norris never shows emotion!!!... because he is a pragmatic person and thinks in a more logical manner.

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A blind man walks into a bar. Nobody is surprised.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get hit by a car because he was depressed and contemplating suicide.

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An Irishman walks into a club. "Ow, that was almost as painful as that time I walked into a bar."

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Why did Little Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was an animal with a small brain and could not comprehend the situation.

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hey guess what? what ur gay! how did you know ive been in the closet for 5 years!?

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What did the Amazonian tribesman say to the European explorer? Nothing, he was focussing on eating him.

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Why did Shrek eat the onions? Anyone who has seen the Shrek films would know that Shrek never mentions anything about eating onions. In the first movie, Shrek and donkey have a conversation in which he compares himself to an onion, but the scene lasts maybe a minute and never again does Shrek mention onions in any way, shape, or form. For whatever reason, this one scene has turned onions into the strongest signature icon associated with Shrek.

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a black guy a mexican guy and a puerto rican guy are driving together in a car whos driving? Whoevers car it is.

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Roses are red Violets are actually the color violet, contrary to popular belief.

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what's funnier than a dead baby nailed to a tree? Pretty much anything because infant mortality is in no way funny

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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