A priest walks into a drug den, most people would say this is pretty contradictory to his implied beliefs.

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- Mom, you have a banana in you ear. - What? Son I can't hear you, I have banana in my ear.

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Why did the cook throw up at McDonalds? Because his pay check was made out to the Ronald McDonald Foundation.

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What do you call a guy with a puppy, candy, and a windowless white van? You're next baby sitter.

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Why did the dinosaur cross the road? It couldnt because a chicken was obscuring its path.

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Why didn't the man give a location of the murderer? He was murdered

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What do you get when you cross a baby and a chainsaw? Life imprisonment.

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Guess whats in my hand. Can you guess? A gun. Bam bam, you're dead. Haha

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A: What does MC Hammer like? B: Big Butts. A: Can he lie? B: No.

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Why do giraffes have long necks? To connect their bodies to their heads.

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How do you paint a wall red? Throw a baby at it.

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What do you call a dog? A cat. What do you call a cat? A banana.

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What came first... the chicken or the egg? How am I supposed to know?

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What did the lawyer say to the doctor? - I am a lawyer and you're a doctor.

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A blind man walked into a bar. Quite literally.

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What do a turtle an a bird have in common? They both fly except the turtle

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Why did the boy have to ride the bus? Because both his parents died.

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What was the black woman doing in the kitchen? She was simply washing her hands after eating dinner.

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What did the boy reading a book do? He finished the book and took it back to library.

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Well no, thats not true, sorry, I mean I GET THAT ALL THE FUCKING TIME!

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What do Mike Tyson's handwriting, the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles and your Grandma's apple pie have in common? Nothing.

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A man walks into a meat shop. Man: I bet you $20 you can't reach the meat on the top shelf. Butcher: The steaks are too high

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how much swag could a swagchuck chuck, if a swagchuck could chuck swag?

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Just aids, and gonnoreah, and... Jk, I wont type it here, and I am not "suffering" from nothing, its a condition, it can be a struggle, and yeah it could turn fatal, on the bright side its not contagious (its genetics, flawed genetics) but on the bright side, so far chances are greater of me dying from a giant meteor falling on me as I sleep, than from this... Not disease, genetic flaw, take it from a guy that was born without toenails, has two eardrums and some weird tiny holes on his ears (I can send you a pic of those tiny weird holes, they are not weird, kinda cute I been told and can say so myself) so you calm yet?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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