A man walks into a bar. Splash.

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What's long and hard, and has cum in it? A cucumber

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How do you get your lawyer to shut up. Hit him with a bat.

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a blonde, brunette and a red head are all goin to jump off a bridge and turn into something. the brunette jumps and says fish, and she turns into a fish. the red head says eagle and becomes an eagle. the blonde gets a running start, but then trips on the way off and she says shit and turns into a piece of shit.

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If I was in a room with Osama bin laden and george bush, and my friend. And I had a gun with two bullets, I'd shoot my friend twice.

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Why did the black man get some Kool-Aid? Because he was thirsty, and thought Kool-Aid would be able to quench his thirst.

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Why was the little boy sad? -Because he was on Fire.

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Roses are blue Violets are red What happened to the gay man? He listened to Justin Beiber And then was straight

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Penis.

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Whats the difference between a girl and a guy? one receives and one delivers.

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Q: What's so funny about medical records? A: You're not the one dying.

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How did the thief acquire a lamborghini? He has a side job as a lamborghini salesman.

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2 Men Walk Into A Bar, I Forget The Rest.

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What's yellow, black, and makes you laugh? A bus full of black people going off a cliff.

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Why was 10 afraid of 9? Because 9-8-7-6-5-4-3-2-1...Kaboom!

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Q: How many times did the chicken cross the road? A: One and a half.

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Why was the black man unemployed and in debt? Because current socio-economic realities and systematic racial discrimination place him at a disadvantage in terms of education and employment. Indeed, it is statistically probable that he was raised below the poverty-line, greatly limiting his opportunities from a young age.

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What do you call a Mexican policeman? Officer.

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What is the difference between an Australian and an Ethiopian? One is from Australia the other is from Ethiopa

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Have you see stevie wonders house? No. Neither has he.

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Why did octopus cross the road? Because the road was underwater

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Whats worse than getting hit by a bus? Getting hit by two busses.

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Whats worse that having cold soup? Cancer

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What makes the turtle move? It's legs.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops