George Lopez never said anything funny in his life.

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A man dies and goes to heaven. This is an assumption based on religious faith.

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what did one worm say to the other worm? nothing. worms are incapable of speaking.

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A kid is stuck in a fire, his dad (a firefighter) comes and saves him. Sadly the kid needed surgery from the fire. He went to the hospital and when the doctor looked at him he said "I cannot operate on my own son." How can this be? His parents are gay...

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Bill: My brother died on 9/11 Steve: Oh, I'm so sorry to hear that. Was he in one of the towers? Bill: Both. Steve: Both? Bill: Well, he was in the first tower when the first plane hit, so he ran over warn everybody in the second tower. While he was in the second tower, he died of AIDS. Steve: LOL! Bill: Quit your laughing, Steve, and make sweet, sweet love to me! Steve: It would be my pleasure! (While Bill and Steve made sweet, sweet love on a park bench, little did they know that a hundred miles away in a beautiful Los Angeles home, actor Jeff Goldblum was making himself a turkey sandwich with extra mayonnaise)

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What's the difference between your momma and a bucket of shit? Well, for starters your mother and a bucket of shit aren't even made of the same physical structure, and secondly, your mother is sentient while a bucket is not.

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Dennis: you can make anything out of coppersulfate Austin: But copper sulfate can make things out of you

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Q. Why did the lady scream when she saw her husband? A. Because he was dead.

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On September 11th 2001, A worker of North twin tower man woke up to find his dog had chewed on his brand new phone. He went down stairs and realized his kitchen window had been broken. Getting ready to leave for work and saw his radio had been stolen out of his car. After finally making it to work and settling down in his office he spilled coffee on his lap. Enraged, the man yelled, "How could today get any worse!?"

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yo momma so fat, it appears she has two chins

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I wanted tobe cool, But I look like you

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America

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how many girlfriends does robert dupra have? none becomes his sister doesn't count trololololol

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What did a husband do when he came home to find his wife murdering their children? Nothing. There is no excuse for domestic violence.

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Why did the mexican mow the lawn. Because the grass in his front yard is longer than he likes it .

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what do you get when you mix peanut butter and jelly? a sweaty black guy

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The feds ruined the first underground, so in order for this to not happen you joined them?

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What do you call 1 black guy and 9 other white guys? Patrick Mills

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One linners President Kinnedy did you like the parade President Lincon did you like the play

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God told John to come forth and recieve internal golry forever. John came fifth and recieved a toaster.

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What happend to the girl who went to school dreased ugly She took the other students advice and whent home and killed her self

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What sits in the corner of a room and gets smaller and smaller? A baby combing it's hair with a potato peeler.

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A kid who lost parents is called an orphan and a wife who lost her husband is called a widow. What do you call parents who lost their child? Free on the Weekends.

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Whats 9 plus 10 ... WHO FREAKIN CARES! STUPID.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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