- Anti Joke

There was a blonde driving a car but she was late to a meeting so she started speeding but then a police officer pulls her over. The officer asked the blonde "Do you know how fast you were going?" to which the blonde responded "Yes, I am late to a meeting" so the police gives a ticket for speeding and she ends up going late to her meeting.

Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

Why did the fish but the house Because it wanted to eat the house

What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

What do you call 50 jewish, homeless men peeing into a river? Pollution.

If i was gay... I would have strong sexual feelings towards peolple of the same sex as me

Why did Suzy fall of the swing? She didn't have arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Suzy.

Why was there no girl on the swing set? She decided to get off of the swings.

A guy wanted to write a joke. He didn't.

why couldnt the african child eat enough food? he didnt have a mouth.

i like turtles

What do you call a man with a horse? A man

Why was Susie's mom crying? Because Susie got hit by a bus

Why did the man have a really short temper? HOW THE **** SHOULD I KNOW???

What do u do if a blonde throws a bomb at u Trigger the bomb and throw it back

Why did Samuel drive his car into a tree? Because the tree was being a total jerk, blocking the road.

Whats worse that having cold soup? Cancer

An elephant walks into a bar. It was so big that it broke a lot of things.

whats short blonde and speaks spanish? my spanish teacher Mrs. Inman

Yo momma so fat that she was diagnosed with obesity and may need medical assistance in the future and will be reliant on you, her child.

Your momma is so fat that she's developed a cardiovascular disease and has 5 weeks to live

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Hearing the same holocaust joke seventeen times.

Q: How do you know if you have had too much to drink? A: When you find a bloody hole where your kidney is.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

Want more? You might be interested in...

Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops