What did Tarzan shout when he saw the elephants coming? "Here come the elephants!"

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You know whats funny about 9/11? Nothing.

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A little boy who was sleeping in his parents' bed woke up in the middle of the night only to discover his mother performing fellatio on his father. "Mommy, mommy," he said . . . except he didn't -- he said nothing, and the incident troubled him for many years.

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And riiight after you... Hey its always ladies first.

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What happens when cole goes into a dark room? It's not possible his hair puts off too much light

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What do a blonde and a door knob have in common? Everybody gets a turn

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What dinosaur makes honey? The Bee Rex.

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Did you ever hear about that rich Mexican?? No. Yeah, me neither.

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What happend to the dude who couldnt fart He blew up

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Why did the girl lie to the priest? because she didn't want to tell him the truth

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What did the hose say to the sprinkler? I'm gonna squirt you.

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Knock, knock. Who's there? ...

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What do you get when you pull down your pants in public? Most likely a criminal record for indecent exposure.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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What did one door say to the other door? Nothing, cause doors don't talk.

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Why did Jerry Sandusky rape little boys? Because his penis was hard and he needed to get his nut off quick

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What's the difference between a bowl of chili and a urologist? One's hot n' spicy and the other analyzes urine. -Emo Phillips

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Why did the Mexican cut his neighbor's lawn? His neighbor cut his lawn the previous week.

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What Would George Washington say if he were alive to day. why are all the slaves free?

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Hitler has a certain "genocide-quaw" about him

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A man walks in to a bar and everyone screamed running out the door.

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Q: Wanna hear a dirty joke? A: A kid fell in the mud.

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mary poppins' handbag is full of fuckin dick

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A Jew, a Christian and a Muslim are on a plane to France. When they arrive in Paris one will go visit a friend who recently found inspiration in the many magical streets of the city and is in the middle of a year abroad. Another will search for a job and home to support himself and any future family that he might choose to have in the future. The last will check into a hotel and proceed to have a wonderful time seeing all the sights that Paris has to offer.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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