Everyone believes in something. If you believe "you'll have another drink," you may be an alcoholic.

Hi welcome to yack in da box, can i hell you? Yes, could i have a jumbo jack? Jew wanna yumbo yack? Yes.

Why did Billy fall off the tree? Why? Because he had no arms or legs. Knock knock! Who's there? Not Billy

If the blue dog falls out of sample object, how many bananas does my mom eat? No, because markers can't talk

Whats worse then any minority? The fact they still exist.

what's black and white and red all over? nothing... it's red

Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

Q-What happens when you grow tomatoes in Kansas on an odd number year when its an average of 398degrees Kelvin ? A-You eat em

Q: Why are pine trees green? A: Because of the green pigments in the leaves known as chlorophyll which are used to capture sunlight.

What did the sea say to the penguin? Nothing it just waved..

I couldn't afford haircuts so I purposely contracted cancer

How many jews does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One. It really isn't that hard.

Baby you're so hot I have an erection the size of an average penis.

What did Tarzan shout when he saw the elephants coming? "Here come the elephants!"

A Christian walks into a bar . . . mitzvah.

Why did Jerry Sandusky rape little boys? Because his penis was hard and he needed to get his nut off quick

Haunnaka in 1940's Germany. six thousand people die. in one minute.

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks, why the long face. The horse replies, neigh.

What did the monkey say to the lion? I'm being sexually abused by my handler, and feel so violated.

BTMG JOAN!"!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! TOP OF THE MORNING FREE MEAT NO SANTA THIS YEAR BONE FOUNDATIONS MOUNTNORRIS WHY IS THAT BAG MOVING?????????? MR MO MOLESTOR SHIT STAINS VEGETABLE GUN OPERATION SBB OPERATION SBB (THE AFTERMATH) #SL #NSL TIN SCHACK SKI LIFT MILK STAINS NATHAN: 5 - SEATS: 0 GREEK LETTER STU THE SO

Why did little Annie fall off the swing? Cause her penis was too heavy.

What do you call a fish with no "i's"? A blind fish.

Why did the black man walk into the catholic church? He was catholic.

Q. Why do cheetahs run so fast? A. Because their bodies allow them to.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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