Dude, you were so drunk last night that you got in a terrible car accident, and now you are paralyzed from the waste down for life.

whats big fat round and bounces on the ground? a ball and your mum

What's the difference between Amy Winehouse and Michael Jackson? Spelling.

Why did the chicken cross the road? The chicken had been running in the road's direction for some time, and continued travelling in that direction despite the road being in the way.

Why was the prostitute's throat sore? Allergies.

What do you do if some idiot throws a grenade at you? Pull the pin and throw it back.

why did Dayrl win the wheelchair race? Because he had working legs.

knock knock who's there ... '*Opens the door slowly* SUPRISE BUTT SEX!

You are so dumb that you receive poor grades in school.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead... Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first monkey... Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Because he thought it was a game...

Why did the baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken.

A drunk man into a bar. He is ripping apart a family

what did the kid with no hair get for christmas? cancer.

That`s my friends phone, I can call you from mine too if you want, please just don't hurt me, let me speak to you, I promise I will explain everything.

"Knock knock?" "Who's there?" "Two dead kittens."

What do have when a lawyer is buried up to his neck in sand? What you probably have is a lawyer on holiday with his children, allowing himself or herself to be buried in order to please said children.

Variants: :) I will always assist you in whatever you want. :( I want to kill you all by myself! Sense? Non? Fuck? Mind? Fission Mailed? Impossible Mission.

Donald Trump decided to run for President.

Do you know what the forest fire got for Christmas? Your house

Q. what did voldemort get for christmas that harry potter didnt? A. dinner with his parents

What do you call someone who can legally murder? OJ Simpson

What happens to a blonde girl who is buying drugs off of a drug dealer? Nothing, she was an undercover police officer trying to arrest said drug dealers on the street.

Q. Why did the chicken cross the road? A. To get to the other side.

Why was the man arrested? He assaulted and raped an elderly woman at the local Walmart. He then proceeded to hijack the poor woman's Scooter and lead police on a 4 mile long car chase.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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