What do a turtle an a bird have in common? They both fly except the turtle

on a scale from voldemort to nigel thornberry, how big is your penis?

Knock knock Who's there? A fireman. You're house burned down.

if i have 2 bananas, and you have 2 bananas, then together we have 4 bananas what are the chances?

Q: Why were there four married men in one room without their pants on? A: because it was the mens bathroom.

whats worth than finding half a dead worm in your apple getting rapped by your step dad

Why did Helen Keller's dog run away? You'd run away too if someone left the gate open and you happened to be a dog.

Q: How did the dead baby get to the other side of the road? A: I threw it over there.

A black person goes up to the drive through at popeye's, what did they say? Nothing, it was closed.

Andi: I have a great knock-knock joke, but you need to start it. Jake: Okay...Knock-knock! Andi: Who's there? Jake: ...

What's stupid a light bulb.

What did one lawyer say to the other? We are both lawyers. What did the stupid lawyer say to the other lawyer? We are both pineapples.

Roses are red, violets are blue, I have chlamydia, and now so do you!

Why do eggs come in 12? because 13 is bad luck

What do you do if some idiot throws a grenade at you? Pull the pin and throw it back.

knock knock who's there ... '*Opens the door slowly* SUPRISE BUTT SEX!

A Redhead, a Blonde, and a Brunette are all standing on top of a cliff in Ireland. They took a few pictures, and all in all it was a lovely vacation.

why did Dayrl win the wheelchair race? Because he had working legs.

You are so dumb that you receive poor grades in school.

Why did the baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead... Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first monkey... Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Because he thought it was a game...

How did a monkey fall out of a tree? He slipped on a banana.

Q: What is brown and sticky and often found in the grass? A: A stick.

What's the difference between Amy Winehouse and Michael Jackson? Spelling.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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