In Soviet Russia you don't drive car, because the Soviet Union was disbanded in 1991

Q: How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: Enough.

What does a sock, pillow and a lamp have in common? -they all live underwater expect for the sock, pillow and lamp -Matt

Q: What happens when you throw a glowing purple rock into a bright green stream? A: It makes a splash

How do you keep a dummy in suspense for 24 hours? Tell him his wife suffered from a severe concussion and that he'll have to wait until morning to see if she's okay

What do you call six white guys on a bench? Six white guys at the park

Why was the man burying his child? because in france, fishing is only allowed 3 times a day

Whats the opposite of red? Fish!

Q: Why did Sally keep falling off the swing? A: She had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

Last Christmas, I gave you my heart, But the very next day, I died.

Whats red and bad for your teeth??? A brick!!!

Q. What did the chicken say to the buffalo? A. Nothing, this is an improbable predicament.

why did the boy eat his lunch money? it was his lunch!

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't.It got ran over by a bus.

how many milkshakes does it take to bring all the boys to the yard?

Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she is both deaf and blind. Driving would be an extremely hazardous action for herself and other nearby drivers.

A black and a white walk into a bar, d.r. King would be proud.

How many women does it take to changed a light bulb? 12. 11 to form a committee and 1 to make her boyfriend do it.

Mother Mary held her daughter 20 minutes under water. Not to save her from her troubles, just to see the funny bubbles

Santa Claus and eight reindeers walk into a bar. “Hey, fatty,” the barman shouts. “Where’s Rudolph?” “He’s dead,” Santa replied. “I’m sorry to hear that,” the barman said, looking embarrassed. “Let me get you a drink.”

Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: Because it was dead

How do you make a dead baby float? Two scoops of vanilla ice cream and two scoops of dead baby.

What did the little boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Cancer What did he get the next year? Nothing he didn't make it that far

what do you call a bunch of crap at the bottom of the ocean? A shitwreck!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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