How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family

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every cloud has a silver lining

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why do jewish people have big noses? because air is free

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There was a man driving his truck down a dark road, half way down the road he see's a man walking alone. He stops beside him, winds down his window and says "Oi mate, need a lift"? The man replies "yeah sure, but can i sleep in the back of the truck"? The driver replies "Yeah sure" later on as the man is sleeping he hears a big bang. "what was that" the man asks. The driver says "Don't worry i just hit a cow, go back to sleep". time goes by and he hears another bang. "W-what was that". "Don't worry i just hit a moose, go back to sleep and ill wake you when we arrive". Few moments latter he hears a tick tick bang. He gets up and yells "What was that"? The driver replies "Dont worry mate i just hit a aboriginal" The man replies "What was those two ticks before that"?. The driver says "I had to drive through two fences to hit the bastard"

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Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? Because she was blind.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Schizophrenia.

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How do you wake up your grandmother........ You don't, she had a massive heart attack and died in her sleep

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if a tree falls in A Forest, would Robert Smith hear?

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How do you scare a lawyer? Threaten to kill his family.

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a priest and a rabbi are walking down a road together the rabbi says: so your a priest how about that the priest says: fine ive read the bible a few times good book

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I have a really good knock knock joke. You start. Knock knock. Open the door see who it is and then slam the door in your face THE END

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Roses are read, Violets are blue, I have aids, now so do you

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Why did the chicken fall down? Because it wanted to have fun

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What do u call a man who is smart. A lawyer/ genius/ smart man

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How do you eat a sandwich With yo mouth bi tch

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How many cops does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None, they just beat the night since its black

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*insert lame joke stolen from the top 10 jokes and think it's original because I changed one word*

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why was the little boy sad? because he had a frog stapled to his face.

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Why did Bob drop his ice cream? Because he got hit with a super models TIttys

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if you can read this you dont' need glasses

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How many blondes does it take to play a game of hide and seek? One ... ;)

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Grandpa loved a good joke, he died laughing. The doctor said it was a severe stroke probably brought on by smoking aggravated by high cholesterol and high blood pressure.

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How did the little boy with cancer run in his running race??? Very Well....

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what do You call a white man killing a black man? a accident

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops