I have two coins in my hand that add up to 30 cents, and one of them is not a nickel. I accidentally dropped them.

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what do you call a gay guy? kevin

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why did the firefighter let the fire burn... becuase of inattentivieness. he will soon be fired.

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What's the hardest part about watching a 2 year old get hit by a bus is? Trying not to laugh.

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Dont joke about the holocaust. My grandfather died there, he fell off the guard tower.

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A man walks into a bar and says, "Hey, Jim, your wife just died from terminal cancer." Jim then says, "Cool. Hey, do you know if the games on tonight?"

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How old am I? If you guessed correctly, you are psychic. If you guessed incorrectly, I will send flying gnomes to capture and torture you. Unless, of course, you are of a racial minority in which case nothing will happen to you because I am not racist. :P

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this isn't meant to be a joke, but just letting all of you know, inside jokes don't count and kony jokes aren't funny

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What do you call a burger made from children with Aspbergers? Cannibalism

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Why did the blond girl walk into the street pole? Because she wasn't paying attention.

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What happen when Sarah made but her nose in other people's business? Her vagina got set on fire by cole and derrek shoved your head up his ass!

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A jew enters a mall.

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why cant the porcupine marry the balloon? ...neither one can talk.. obviously.

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Why did the clown's ballon animal pop? He was a victim in a drive by shooting.

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What's black, white, and red all over? A lot of things, you just gotta keep your eyes peeled.

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A guy walks into a restaurant and sits down only to realize he is not wearing any pants. Immediately the police are called and arrest the man for indecent exposure. Given there were children in the restaurant at the time, the man is also charged as level 3 sex offender and is held on $100,000 bail. His family receives the news and become the talk of the town. His wife commits suicide from embarrassment, leaving her 10 year old son up for adoption who later gets involved with drugs due to his rough childhood.

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Jordan is pregant

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How did Pablo get into America from Mexico? He drove here!

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No, but I am not just an author, the important thing is, that this kid has been stopped as we speak, as I said he was selling information to several clients on the deep web, and patterns do reveal that he was selling you out piece by piece while prepared to make a run for it once he delivered the vital details. Say, did you promote this guy a bit too fast or something? Either he knows as much as you do, or otherwise he has been learning the ins and outs of your little place pretty fast.

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how do you upset an obese cat? you put her in dog sweaters

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Q: What has no color, no shape, no size, and was born in your mind? A: The thought you just had about this anti-joke.

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Ask me if I'm on a horse. Are you on a horse? Yes, are you on a horse? No. Oh...

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Who's the slut of the alphabet? C.

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Why can't Hellen Keller drive? She is a woman ... Who is blind, deaf and mute Therefore considered a danger to herself And those around her.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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