What did the rapist say to the child? Contrary to popular belief, I am just a kind old man that likes to hand out sweets to disadvantaged young children. I only got dubbed a rapist when a child crawled into the back of my van as I drove off; the fact that his abusive father was the one who raped him is not my fault.

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This one time at Concentration camp.... My friends all died cause they were chosem in the Selection

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Think of a number 1-10 Now add 39 Divide that by 20 Subtract two Now close your eyes.. Dark isn't it?

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Im Tom and I'm an alcoholic...

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A doctor walks out of the delivery room and relieves A nervous father, telling him that his new baby girl has just been born with great health. The father sighs in relief as happiness overwhelms him. With such great news, the doctor chuckles and continues on with the rest of what he had to relay to the father. Your wife died during the delivery.

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Did you hear why the peanut got arrested by walking next to another peanut? One got a-salt-ed

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What do Selena and Justin, Kate and William, and Barack and Michelle all have in common? Nothing.

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What is funnier than Miley Cirus getting a Record Album? Justin Bieber's voice.

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What's worse than the Holocaust? Biting into an orange and finding Helen Kellar

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What's special about an Irish Parachute ? It's made in Ireland.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Who cares...he didn't make it anyways..

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Did you hear about the kid from Oklahoma? No. Yeah, he died.

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What does a chicken get for Christmas? A trip to the processing plant.

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what did the philosopher say, when he considered the transient nature of life in relation to ones own personal and egocentric grasp upon circumstance and purpose? massive erection.

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Why did the camel cross the road? He was off to see the wizard, the wonderful wizard of OZ.

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Why did seven eat nine? Because six was afraid of him.

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What does a Somalian want for Christmas? Nothing hes Sunni Muslim and does not celebrate Christmas

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What did the bank clerk say to the robber when he demanded all the money in the drawer? "Okay."

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What should you do if you have a 10 inch penis? Subtly tell the world via an anti-joke

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Joe has 30 candy bars and eats 25. What does john have now? DIABETIES. Joe has diabeties. Please comment!!!!!!!

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Q: How do you get a blonde out of a tree? A: Throw a moneky at her

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How do you stop a baby flying 100mph? a shovel

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I went to the local RSPCA office today....it's tiny, you couldnt swing a cat in it.

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What's worse than an arrow to the knee? -A bullet in the head.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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