i had a dream last night;) it was sad because you lived but then i dreamed up a bus and made it hit you. i had a dream last night;) you died

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people magazine

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There was an Englishman, a Scotsman, and an Irishman. Now there's millions of them. And women too.

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How do you stop a baby from crawling in circles? Pick it up and put it in a crib, like a responsible parent.

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An egg and a sausage walk into a bar, and the barman says "sorry, we don't serve breakfast".

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why did the black man start crying? because his ancestors were treated horribly

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In particle-joke physics, the antijoke is the extension of the concept of the antiparticle to the joke, where the antijoke is composed of antiparticles in the same way that the normal joke is composed of particles. Furthermore, mixing jokes and antijokes can lead to the annihilation of both, in the same way that mixing antiparticles and particles does.The result of antijoke meeting jokes is an explosion.[1]

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A horse walks into a bar. Bartender says "It's probably not a good idea that your in here, any sudden movements and you could seriously injure somebody. Our beer glasses aren't ergonomically designed for your kind of species. I'm going to have to ask you to leave"

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What did the Asian say after he had a nightmare? Nothing his nightmare was actually reality and a dishwasher fell on him and killed him.

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What's read,bubbly and looks out the window? A baby in a microwave

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What do you get when a man farts then a giraffe digests the gas and then poops into the mouth of a rabid baby raccoon? A raisin coated in corn flakes with digestive fluid sauce.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Systemic oppression.

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23 convicts were showering. One of them dropping his soap bar. The person next to him picked it up, and the one who dropped it said thanks.

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What do you get when you pull down your pants in public? Most likely a criminal record for indecent exposure.

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Whats the difference between a monkey and a baby? Eating a baby tastes better with saltines.

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What do a boat and a computer have in common? Nothing

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What is green and red and is going super fast? A frog in a blender.

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Stephen Hawkings may know everything about the universe, but try to get him to tie his shoes.

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Why did the mailman say hi to you? He was trying to be friendly

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Tifa my ass, if that is your name buddy, then I am Nicholas Cage, or why do you not just call me Cloud Strife? Seriously, if you are a guy just say it and get lost, I will still honor my agreement and show up and see what I can do for your little order though, you pay the trip and the stay of course.

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What's more epic than a man in a gorilla suit? A man in a gorilla suit with a banana.

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You know whats funny about 9/11? Nothing.

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what is my catphrase nothing I am too good to have one

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knock knock. who's there? 9/11

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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