How many footballs fit in a glass of liquid. none, this football is HUGE!!!

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what do u call a kid at school a school kid and i have enough of these anti jokes they are not funny

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How do you survive the zombie apocolypse? You avoid dieing or being mutated in the living dead.

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What do Hitler and Jesus have in common? Facial hair.

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Why did the chicken cross the playground? Because he was looking for other chickens because he has no friends and he got bullied when he was in 12th grade. He got picked on because he was sledding down his hill in his backyard and he accidentally scraped one side of his face on ice and started bleeding. The next day his classmates started calling him two face.

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What's grammatically incorrect about this sentence? Nothing. I lied.

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A rat and a pig rape a puppy. Hey, that's just life.

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When SCUBA diving, why is it important to fall backward off the side of the boat? Because if you fell forward, you would still be in the boat.

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My neighbor's kid was running around yelling magical spells. I said "Wow, you really want to be like Harry Potter, don't you?". He said "Yes!". So, I killed his parents and locked him under the stairs.

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whats worse than having ice cream and not eating it? Being lactose intolerant

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We are few Nero, too few, if I want to split my money with you, would it help you find true happiness?

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Why did the man cross the road? Because he couldn't get his dick out of the chicken

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Women.

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Your mother is so fat, that making fun if her is a terrible thing to do.

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Why did the mouse cross the road? Because he had been attached to the chicken with a nail gun.

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Variants: :) I will always assist you in whatever you want. :( I want to kill you all by myself! Sense? Non? Fuck? Mind? Fission Mailed? Impossible Mission.

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Roses are red, Violets are Blue Last night was amazing, I have Aids

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Aww, I knew you where a sweetheart at the core Nerochan, I mean I look up towards people that don't give a jack about what others think but I am not as good at it as you are. Now can you please spam that away like really quickly now?

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What do you call a rapist who uses condoms and excessive lubricant? A Rapist.

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What do you get when you cross an elephant with a giraffe? A really f*cked up hybrid.

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What's black and breaks your stove when falling from a tree? Your stove

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The man who invented the teleprompter has died at the age of 91. When President Obama heard the news, he was speechless.

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whats the difference between marmalade and jam? you cant marmalade ur cock up a girls arse

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1: Knock Knock? 2: Who's There? *runs*

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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