An old man walks into a bar. He suffered greater injury than a younger man due to his advanced age and deteriorating health. But he did eventually recover by strictly adhering to his doctor's advice of bed rest, improved diet, and increased, yet moderate, aerobic exercise.

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Knock Knock Who's there? The KGB Yes, How can I help? We are looking for a local serbian mobster who we believe to be hiding in this Village have you seen this man. No I cant say I have. Sorry Well thank you for your time and if you notice anything please try and let the local Police know.

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How many infants does it take to paint a house? Forty-Seven.

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What do you call a middle ages man driving a van filled with children? Coach.

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You having friends.

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What's the difference between a black man and a couch? One is a human being and one is a piece of furniture.

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Knock, Knock whos there? Jesus Jesus who? Jesus Christ

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How did Whitney huston die? By eating a turkey sasandwich and then put a car jump starter in the bath tub.

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Tunechi

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Q: What do you call 500 lawyers at the bottom of the ocean? A: A Good Start.

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Why did the black guy cross the road? Because he was late for a meeting

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What did the black man say when he jumped in the pool? The water's nice, you should join me.

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Bob: I have a funny knock knock joke, but you have to start it. Joe: Ok. Knock Knock. Bob: Who's there? Joe: Uhhhhhhh Bob: Exactly.

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Yo mama's like Darfur: Everyone feels bad for her, but nobody offers any substantial assistance.

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why did the man turn on and off the lights 20 times because he was diagnosed with O.C.D as a child

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What do you get when you put two landsharks together? Three landsharks.

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LOVING BIRD DIEING BIRD DO NOT FLY AWAY

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What's the difference between cancer and my grandmother? She doesn't have cancer.

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Mr Mac reminds me that no matter how hard you try you will always lose your hair

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A bison trots into a bar. The bartender says, "My pee makes bubbles in the toilet." Amazed by the urination fact, the bison explodes.

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Roses Are Red , Violets Are Blue , Go Die .

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Sally heard a scream in a dark room and went to go see who it was. Knock Knock! Who's there? Not Sally...

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Why can't Michael J. Fox draw a perfect circle? Because it is humanly impossible to draw a perfect circle.

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What's black, white, and red all over? A: Me after domestic abuse.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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