What did the boy eat for breakfast? Food

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Excuses are like assholes: Gay men like to have sex with them.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Whats worse then finding a worm in your apple? Getting yours asshole clawed by a grizzly

thumb_up thumb_down +8

You can pick your friends, you can pick your nose, but you can't divide by zero.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Knock knock Who's there Orange Orange who Orange

thumb_up thumb_down +8

I FEEL LIKE I'M RIDING ON A CLOUD actually it's physically impossible to ride on clouds because they are sparsely situated ice particles.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Q: why didn't the asian boy ask for a calculator? A: you don't need calculators to make shoes

thumb_up thumb_down +8

you will like this because i am black.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Q: What did one muffin say to another? A: Nothing. Muffins don't talk, you idiot.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

'Knock Knock' "Who's there?" 'Nobody. Your schizophrenia has become so bad you can barely make it through a normal day without emotionally collapsing. Your social life has dissolved into a world of fear, and your personal relationships have crumbled away before your eyes. Major depression and anxiety are eating you away. You have nothing left.'

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Cancer

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why are Asian people bad drivers? Coincidental cases of blurred vision.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Yo mama is so fat that her doctor advised her to get some exercise or risk developing a heart condition!

thumb_up thumb_down +8

I don't know about the rest of you, but I HATE funerals.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

what did pedobear say to the 60 year old man nothing he was too busy molesting the girl across the street

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he died.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

bob lost his camouflage bag. he never found it.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What do you call a girl with no legs? Disabled.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What did the mom tell her son who she caught masticating loudly? "Do it with your mouth closed!"

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What's black an blue and doesn't like sex? The 8year old in my trunk.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

A musician without any music walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "Who do you think you are, a hobbit?" The musician without any music says,"yeah" and turns into a hobbit

thumb_up thumb_down +6

How can you get an asian kid to flunk a class? You can't.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

what did the boy with no arms and legs get for christmas? Cancer what did he get the next year? Nothing he didn't make it that long.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

An English couple walk int a Portuguese bar. They never see their daughter again.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops