oh hi, i'm an idiot, i mean mitt romney

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You walk into a plane full of Arabs talking about how much they hate America. You arrive at your destination enlightened about the problems in American society.

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What's worse than finding half a worm in your apple? A comment saying "I don't think that's an anti-joke"

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why was the girl unhappy? because she was stapled to a shark.

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Do you like fishsticks? Ya, me too.

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What did the homeless man do with his trolley of aluminium cans He took them to the scrapyard and sold them back for money as this is his only source of income right now

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How often does the lesbian vampire group meet up? Never. Lesbians don't exist.

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So my friend told me to go shot myself I got my Canon and shoot myself The image came out very clean and profession.

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why was the fork in the wall? Why would a fork be in a wall?

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Psychic wanted. You know where to apply.

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What's white and horny? A unicorn

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall red? Depends on how hard you throw them.

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What did one alien say to another alien? I miss Mexico.

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What happens when you ask a blind guy to drive you somewhere? What happens if you ask a blind guy to drive? You will end up in a four way accident with 8 people dead 2 of which children and 1 baby. You might survive but the blind guy won't so you will have to go to court for him on the issue. You realize that you are terrible when it comes to the law and you get yourself thrown in jail for 2 years. When you get out you are so tired of getting butt raped that you go out and do it to someone else. Then you go back to jail an the process repeats it's self because this is the American justice system. We could work on it a little bit. But yeah, don't ask a blind guy to drive, your butt says thanks.

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How many Babies does it take to paint a wall? It depends how hard you throw them

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A handless Asian boy was riding his bike through the park with some friends. One of his friends puts his arms in the air and yells "Look! No hands!" The handless boy rides his bike home, crying and thinking about how one day he would like to say, "Look! No hands!" without people getting nauseous.

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What did God say when he made the first black person? I have just added a significant element of diversity to the human species. Intolerance between ethnicities will surely prove to be an obstacle in societal progression, creating hardships for many. I know this because I am God.

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Roommate 1: I want to make food but I'm not going to Roommate 2: Why not? Roommate 1: Because I'm tired and lazy.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Some poems rhyme But this one doesn't

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A girl said to her boyfriend, "you take my breath away." The boy said, "that isn't possible" and they proceeded to have sex.

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Why did the kid lay down? Because his legs were chopped off

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A blind man walks into a bar, bystanders help him up.

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Why did John get hard? He froze to death

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get hit by a car because he was depressed and contemplating suicide.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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