Where did Susie go during the explosion? On her knees to catch it.

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Why was the girl-scout crying? I hit her in the knee with a baseball bat.

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What fruit is used to make apple juice? Apples

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Three men were on a plane. One chucked an apple out the window. Unfortunately, due to the low pressure outside, all the men were sucked out the window.

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a man touches girls butt ...... she sharts her pants

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Why did santa cross the road? He didn't he is not real.

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Why did the depressed man commit suicide? Its typical of a depressed person.

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what is black and white and read all over? a bankrupt newspaper that cannot afford color ink because the accountant misplaced company funds.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. At least that's what I've heard, I'm blind.

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Whats red, black and brown? My anus after a Friday night

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An astronaut and a cosmonaut are sitting in a bar, discussing who was better. The cosmonaut says, "We Russians were the first people in space!" The astronaut says, "That may be true, but we were the first to land on the moon my friend." The cosmonaut turns back to the astronaut and says, "Yes, but we shall be then first to ever land on the Sun!" So, the astronaut skeptically asks, "And how do you intend to do that?" The cosmonaut replies, "Simple.......we will go at night." Thank you to David Cross

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A woman is in a terrible car crash. The husband comes in, runs to the doctor and he says "Doctor! My wife...is she going to make it?" The doctor turns and says "your wife will survive, but she's experienced heavy brain trauma. She will never walk again. You'll have to bathe her, feed her, change her diapers, and cater to her every need." The husband starts crying and says "oh my God that's terrible! Are you serious?" The doctor replies "Yes."

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Tulips are white and Pansies are pink.

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What's the similarities between a spoon and a duck. Both are not a lamp

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What do you call someone that blows up a plane? Nothing you were on that plane

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Why did the chicken cross the road Time for you to get a watch

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Penis

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust

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Why did the baby duck cry? Because his family just got ran over by a truck

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eyebrows up means ur flirting this isnt a joke dont laugh

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Q: what white hard and huge and it can kill you if you fall out of a tree? A: a refrigerator

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One day, 2 people were gonna fight after school and then the final bell rung. The fight began and the challenger says, "Hey whats the one thing you say when you don't want to fight anymore and you let the other person win?" The other guy says to the challanger, "I give up?" Then the challenger yells. "I WIN!"

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Whats worse than having cancer? Nothing....

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Tom: Knock knock! Guy: Who's there? Tom: Carrot. Guy: Impossible.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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