"How do you put a giraffe into a refrigerator?" "Open the refrigerator, put in the giraffe, and close the door." "How do you put an elephant into a refrigerator?" "Open the refrigerator, take out the giraffe, put in the elephant and close the door." "The Lion King is hosting an animal conference. All the animals attend.... except one. Which one?" "The Elephant. The elephant is in the refrigerator." "There is a river you must cross but it is used by crocodiles, and you do not have a boat." "You jump into the river and swim across. Have you not been listening? All the crocodiles are attending the Animal Meeting."

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sorry about this, my enter key is stuck down... Really sorry guys. Nearly fixed it. Look I said I was sorry! All fixed :~D

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Boy: Knock Knock! Girl: Who's there? Boy: It's me, John. Girl: Oh, come in!

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Can I have a dollar? I don't know, can you?

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What did one Black college student say to another? What is your major?

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A man walks into a bar with his dog. He orders 14 shots and proceeds to drink. For each shot he takes, he feeds one to his dog, who accepts it willingly. The bartender says "Well I've never seen anything stranger. Why did you order 14 shots, and why are you giving half to your dog." "Well," says the man, "my 14 year old dog was diagnosed with a fatal heart condition. I cannot afford to put him down, so the shots should kill him." The dog then dies.

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Why did the girl need a peice of gum after spending 20 minutes parked in the truck with her boyfriend? Because she had spent the last 20 minutes eating sweets, which she couldnt let her mom know she had eaten because her mom calls her fat everyday even though she only weighs 110 pounds, and forces her to only eat vegetables.

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What's big, green, has 4 legs, and if it falls out of a tree will kill you? A pool table

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A priest, a minister and a rabbi walk into a bar and the bartender says: "Where would you like to sit, gentlemen"?

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A man sits on the toilet to take a shit And is surprised to find the next door neighbours dog in the toilet.

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an alien is walking down the street he can't breathe our air and quickly suffocates and dies

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Q: How do you get a blonde out of a tree? A: Throw a moneky at her

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Your mom goes to college. Actually, she graduated a while back!

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What happened to the guy who dropped his soap in the prison shower? His friend picked it up for him.

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Person 1: Ask me if I'm a tree. Person 2: Are you a tree? Person 1: No.

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Why don't meth addicts like food? Because they have not teeth to chew it with.

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Once there was an ugly barnical, He was so ugly that everyone died. The end.

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Q:your jetski loses a wheel. how many pancakes does it take to fix your house? A:blue berry icecream.

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What did Reed read? A. Read?

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How do you get your lawyer to shut up. Hit him with a bat.

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A homeless guy walked up to me and said "Any change?", to which I replied, "Nope, your still homeless". We laughed and laughed. The he stabbed me.

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(Timmy has no arms or legs.) A:Knockknock! B:Who's there? ANot Timmy

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Roses are red. I f***** a dude. you're a failed abortion. I never loved you.

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What's funny about four black guys driving off a cliff in a Cadillac? They were my friends...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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