How do you knock a cat out of a tree? If that doesn't work, use a lethal BB gun

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How do you make a Dead Baby Float..... ......With 3 scoops of ice cream and 1 cup of liquid stem cells.

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ok so ive been pondering for a while now for a joke to submit and here is what ive got, tell me what you think: quif stain

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knock knock who's there? john john who? john opens his mouth only to be gunned down by a terrorist attack

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Wanna hear a joke about my penis? Oh wait I shouldn't tell you, it's too long

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What gets wetter as it dries? Sarah Jessica Parker

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like if your cool

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Would you spit or swallow? Well, in circumstances when i am eating or drinking, i would swallow. Although if i had something disgusting in my mouth i would spit

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What was the motto of the Holocaust? Yolo.

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a blonde walks in to a bar, the bar tender gives him a free drink because he's a man and it's nazi germany

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How do you find a jew amoung italians? Through a dollar and see which one whines its not enough!

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What is the difference between being a serial killer and a doctor? I'm not a doctor.

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what is the opposite of underpants? overpants

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Chuck Norris once round-house kicked someone so hard that he broke his leg.

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How do you kill a dumb blonde? Personally, I love stabbing them.

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How did Doris respond to Uncle Monty's innapropriate chewing of her nose, ears and eyelids? She cut his head off, placed it an a saucepan, boiled and seasoned it, and then sold it to the middle east. The middle east were very grateful, and sent Doris a camel's penis as a thankyou gift.

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How many Jews can you fit in a one-person car? --One in the drivers seat, 30 million in the ashtray

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What does a dishwasher and the holocaust have in common? Not much.

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Does Fall come before winter? There is no defiant answer due to the fact that all seasons are in a cycle and our race has no answer to which season happened first on Earth.

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Why do black people always sit in the back of the bus? There aren't any available seats in the front.

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so a man walks into a store looking for a new sheet,the cashier he goes to is chinese He leaves with a new sheet and is satisfied with it,oh wait,he gave me a pile of shit,sorry guys i had to -chuckles

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Yesterday, my friend said I should facebook him. So I slammed a book into his face.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

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what did I say to myself nothing because its very weird to talk to your self

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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