Dave: Knock, knock Steven: Come in.

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Why is our country going downhill? Because going uphill is harder.

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I came up with one when my friend Sam told me the fortune from her Jone's Soda. A change of heart may lead to a new living environment, a change of heart may also lead to death.

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Your mom is so fat that she has trouble walking up the stairs because she gets easily winded.

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What's brown and sticky? A stick. What's orange and sticky? An orange. What's red and sticky? My stool - is that normal?

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Knock Knock. Who's there? ...(No answer)

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Why did the little boy fall out the window? A child molester pushed him.

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Your mumma is so fat, she has diabetes.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I look down My pants are brown.

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Why did the gay kid drop his ice cream Because he got punched in the face.

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why did the hater hate? everyone else has a much better life

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roses are red, violets are blue, penis

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So there is a muslum, then he flew a plane into a building and died a sudden death. But he was wearing a helmet.

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“When life gives you lemons, don’t make lemonade. Make life take the lemons back! Get mad! I don’t want your damn lemons, what the hell am I supposed to do with these? Demand to see life’s manager! Make life rue the day it thought it could give Cave Johnson lemons! Do you know who I am? I’m the man who’s gonna burn your house down! With the lemons! I’m gonna get my engineers to invent a combustible lemon that burns your house down!”

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I got shot in the balls now i'm pregnant?

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Why did the chicken cr-VAGINA!!!!!!!!!!! sorry, tourettes.

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What do you feel inside after eating an entire class of pre-schoolers? A stomach ache

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There was a blonde, brunette, and a redhead. They are spending a relaxing afternoon together as a result of being restricted to their heavy therapeutic sessions which they are constantly in need of because all three have been diagnosed with clinic depression since everyone jokes about them so much and in conclusion, they don't see each other very often.

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I once was an adventurer like you. But then I quit.

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A man walks into a bar. He hits his head, and then goes to the nearest drinking establishment.

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Why couldn't the blonde do her homework? She had no fingers.

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What happens to a blonde girl who is buying drugs off of a drug dealer? Nothing, she was an undercover police officer trying to arrest said drug dealers on the street.

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What happens when a unicorn gets her period? You know it's a girl.

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A life-sized cardboard cut out of Justin Bieber was in a contest with a cut out of Liam Neeson. It was stiff competition.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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