A man walks into a bar. Since he was only moving at a slow walking pace, he was fine, no further events worth noting occured.

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How do you teach a blond how to cook? You give her a cookbook, a kitchen, and maybe turn Paula Dean's show on.

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How do you cause ultimate pain to a imprisoned Jew during the holocaust? Moral: You give him an apple WITH a worm in it.

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Why did the Mexican steal a pack of tortillas? To feed his family. He didn't have the necessary funds to pay for it.

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How do you drown in a tea cup? You find a big enough tea cup.

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Why did god create planet earth? He isn't real.

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A man walks out of a bar. He didn't bring his driver's license, but managed to do a grand theft auto and unfortunately, crashed on the way home beacuse of a tree. Also, killed 12 people by car

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How do you confuse a blond? Nordic mytholigi. That is, if shes american

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What's black and blue and hates sex? A rape victim.

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try to find the 1 thumbs up if you find it! 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thumb_up thumb_down -29

roses are red violets are blue i am retarded i like pancakes

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Your mama's so stupid she brought syrup to the quidditch world cup because she knew there would be quaffles!

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A black man is driving a nice car when he's suddenly pulled over by the police. "Do you know why I pulled you over?" asks the cop. "No officer" replies the black man. "You have a taillight out. However I'm going to just let you off with a warning because you seem like an upstanding citizen. Have a nice day."

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What do pancakes and Smokie Bear have in common? They both don't have aids

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Two icebears are siiting on a iceberg one says to the other: Are you fine with me pushing you off? the other one responds: Would you marry me?

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The other day I went into the bathroom to take a poo, It was Glorious I flushed the toilet and everything.

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Simon says why the hell are we playing Simon say!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

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A duck walked into a bar and said "ouch."

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Knock knock. Who's there? Never mind that. I have a gun and your child. Come out with all your valuables and he won't get hurt.

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How Many Women Does It Take To Parallel Park A Car ? Zero , The Husband Drove

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How many people with Alzheimer's does it take to screw in a lightbulb? To get to the other side.

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What did the guy say to the girl when she was on her knees? Stop playing with it put it in your mouth

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What's black and white and red all over? Nothing.

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What do you call 100 black men at the bottom of the ocean? A scuba group because during these hot summer months they like to cool off and go scuba diving.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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