If an oak tree falls in the woods, and the tree has 3 squirrel nest in them, then does a whale jizz in the ocean?

What did the drunk homeless man get for his birthday? Liver cancer.

Why did Hitler kill six million Jews? Why not? --ZeNaziGermanDoctor

Why did whitney Houston become a drug addict? Because she made some very bad decisions in her life.

wheres an unexpected place to find sand? a human pancreas.

Why did the ceiling fall down? Because there weren't any walls.

Your mother is so large she finds it difficult to fit into regular sized clothing

Whats grey and kills people, Terminal cancer,I lied about the grey color

How do you get a drugged man, a giant sombrero, and a guitar into a Chuck-E-Cheese? You take multiple trips.

Whats worse than the holocaust A: not much

Mickey Mouse peed on a house what color was it? It wasn't a color, or any pee for that matter. Mickey Mouse is a fictional character for children's amusement.

there were three men in a car, Poop, Shut Up, and Manners. They were driving in a truck when poop fell out of the car. Manners went to get him. Shut Up parked somewhere that he wasn't supposed to so the police man came to him. He asked him what his name was and he said "Shut Up" because that was his name. The police man said "Where are your manners?" then Shut Up said,"He went to go scoop up poop".

Why couldnt rex bark??? because he was a fish!

How do you kill Lady Gaga? There is no point in trying, she is too heavily guarded.

What is long hard and woody? A tree.

How many candles did Johnny blow out on his birthday cake? The same number of candles which corresponds to his age.

What did the furry tweet when he went to a furry convention? A: I'm at a furry convention

what can jump higher than a tree? anything that can jump because everyone knows that trees cannot jump.

how do you complete an exam. dont be kaizen.

What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for christmas? A bike

What did one lawyer say to the other? We are both lawyers. What did the stupid lawyer say to the other lawyer? We are both pineapples.

whats the difference between kroush and a bucket of shit? the bucket

Why was the boy so tired? He had to carry his moms dead body up the stairs.

knock knock? who's there Dave Come on in!!!!!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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