Gawds Trololols: Jewsus: I die for ur Sins, now u are free! *argh* Gawd AD 3000: TIME TO DIE SINNERS! Jewsus: But I paid for humanity`s sins and am stuck in hell because of this and... Gawd: Meh just didnt really liek you TROLOLOL! Gawds Trololols 2 directors clit: Gawd: Jebus! (the third) I want you to trololol peeps now! GO! Jebus: As you see people, I have died for you in order to prove that I am immortal! Peeps: Uh, wow? Jebus: TROLOLOL! So dad, when am I gonna get back to earth again, I kinda promised my boyfriends/apostles that there would be a second cumming as you told me to do, and people have been waiting for over twothousand and fourtee... Gawd: Never! Trolololol! Moral: "Would you trust a being whose veins are loaded with alcohol?" Jesus 2: The second coming: In cincemas never!

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Can I have a dollar? I don't know, can you?

thumb_up thumb_down -14

How can you tell I'm the biggest idiot in the room? Look at me.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

A horse trots into a bar. He is left with a bump on his head.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why did the boy not eat his ice cream? He was addicted to self afflicting. The blood from one of his newer slashes oozed out on the cone which being wafer slowly got soggy. At this point the ice cream slid out of the cone as it was soggy and as he went to eat it, he found an abssence of ice cream. After this unprecedented occurance he gave up with his self harming, so all was good.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What did Raymond say when josh ate him? Nothing because Raymond was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car? Get in the car. -Tag

thumb_up thumb_down -14

A white man and a black man were walking down the street. The black borrowed the white man's phone to make a quick call when an incoming call came in. The black man, while trying to hand the phone back, says, "Here, it's your Dad." The white man replies, "No, that's my phone." Amazed at how uneducated the black man was.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Whats the definition of not winning? Charlie sheen losing custody of his son because he is a coked out, old man douche bag, who only gets told what he wants to hear because he forks out lots of money to gold digging hookers.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

A brunette, a blond and a red-head decide to go swimming in a lake. To prepare, they go shopping together to get some new bikinis. When they get to the shop they are pleased to find that the bikinis are on sale and they get them 50% off. They drive with their new swimwear to the lake and get changed in the changing room. When they get out they notice that it is quite cold. They decide to go swimming anyway. They notice that the lake is dirty. They decide to go swimming anyway. They notice the lake is actually a spill of oil. They decide to go swimming anyway. They remember that none of them can swim. They decide to go swimming anyway. They jump in. They drown.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What do you call a black man that is on fire? A Man on Fire. The fact that he is black has no relevance in this situation.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why did the Cross chicken the road? Because it wasn't the way to the Lord

thumb_up thumb_down -14

How do you stop an aboriginal from drowning? Take your foot off his head...

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What do you call an armless, legless man hanging on a wall? Art.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why did the black man jump off of a bridge? -He was in depression and comitted suicide.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

what do you say when your phone is broken? A: my phone is broken

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Knock knock. Who's there? Ed. Ed who? Ed Begley Jr.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why did an asian lawyer commit suicide? Because his wife left him and he hated his miserable life.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why did the gay man buy a prius? because it is a very fuel efficient car and will save him a lot of money of gas

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why didn't Avery die when he got hit by a bus? The bus was going three miles per hour.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Roses are red Violets are blue Deez nuts Ha goteem

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What does a black person and ebola have in common? They both kill people

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why did the personal trainer get fired from the gym? He lacked good customer service skills.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

im gonna poop my pants. mom said to wipe afterwards i am a teletubby

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops