Whose your daddy? Not me

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:)Knock Knock :(Whose's there? :)None ya :(None ya who? :)None ya dam business.

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What did the pilot say to the female flight attendant? He told her to never tell his wife about the time they spent in mexico or he'd bludgeon her to death with a hammer.

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If there's something strange in your neighborhood. Who ya gonna call? The Police.

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Knock knock. Who's there? The police. The police who? The band.

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Why couldn't Jimmy go bowling with the rest of his friends? His parents shot him.

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A blonde walks into a bar therefore her face hurts

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a horse walks into a bar. Noticing the potentially dangerous situation everyone leaves, the bartender calls RSPCA who come and retrieve the horse and order is restored.

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What did one muffin say to the other muffin? I don't know what they said, but one muffin, had a knife.

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When life gives you Pure Filtered Water, Sweeteners (High Fructose Corn Syrup, Sugar), Lemon Juice from Concentrate, Less Than 0.5% of Each: Natural Flavors, Citric Acid (Provides Tartness), Modified Cornstarch, Glycerol Ester of Wood Rosin, Sodium Hexametaphosphate and Sodium Benzoate and Potassium Sorbate and Edta (to Protect Taste), Red 40 Make Lemonade.

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Why can't you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom? Because pterodactyls along with all other dinosaurs have been extinct for millions of years.

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How many midgets does it take to change a light bulb? If you do the math, it's probably one.

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Three Blondes were walking when they come upon some tracks. The first blonde says they're deer tracks. The second blonde says they're elk tracks. The last blonde says they're moose tracks. While they are all arguing about what type of tracks they are, they get hit by a train.

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How did the American man get the Mexican man to jump over the wall? He didn't, after several attempts he then got a ladder and climbed over.

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What did Michelle Obama get for Christmas? Cancer

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Why do dinosaurs have no friends? Because they are dead

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Why did the naked blonde crossed the road? Because she a man

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What did the cheerleader get for christmas? Money, because she's a stupid w hore

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What did the legless veteran get for christmas, The same grenade that blew up his legs.

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War horse walks into a bar. The barman says 'why the long film?'

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I don't understand what's so bad about a worm in your apple. Just get the proper software to clean it up, or even better, get a PC

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Knock Knock? Whos there? Ching Ching Who? No...Ching Smith you racist!

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Two people walk into Israel. The first is shot on the spot. The second screams "I only have two pennies in my pocket!" Immediately he is raped by five Jews.

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Son: "Mommy That Boy Over There Beat Me Up" Mom: Good I Like When You Suffer

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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