What did the black kid get for Christmas? An X-box, a sweater and some socks.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Face...the other white meat!

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Howmany licks does it take till you get to the tootsie roll center of tootsie pop? Well, The answer is not constant. There are many variables that need to be taken into account. Though the ph level of human saliva is a neutral seven it can vary about 2 tenths of a point from person to person. This is a factor that needs to be considered along with the size of the tongue, roughness of the tongue, and at what speed the licking is taking place at. After taking all these variables into consideration, the average number of licks it would take untill the chocolate center of a tootsie pop is approximately, 3 .

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What did Tom get for his 5th Birthday ? Nothing, he died when he was 2 years old

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Whats worse than hard cheese?Cheese DUH

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why was the guy stupid? 'Cause he was!

thumb_up thumb_down +8

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Why the long face?" The horse says, "I have fetal alcohol syndrome."

thumb_up thumb_down +6

If I were in a room with you hitler, stalin, i would shoot hitler and stalin because they are horrible people.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why did the chicken cross the road the chicken is blind and deaf and happened to wander into the street and got hit by a car and was instantly killed

thumb_up thumb_down +6

How do you get a baby to stop crying? Hit it with a shovel 17 times

thumb_up thumb_down +6

How do you scare a plumber? Kill his family.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Starving.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What do you call an animal with 4 legs ? A dog...

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Wanna hear a dirty joke? A little boy falls into the mud Wanna hear a clean joke? He takes a bath with bubbles Wanna hear a dirty joke? Bubbles is Michal Jackson.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

what has small feet? a human being with a tiny proximity of feet matter.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Q: what's green and fluffy? A: green fluff

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What did the 11 year old boy get for christmas? A wet dream

thumb_up thumb_down +6

you know whats not funny white boards.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

I put children on a leash and store them under my bed. I feed them bird food and they drink eachothers urine.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Knock Knock Whose there? The pizza you ordered That's weird, the Pizza I ordered shouldn't be able to talk

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Roses are reds, Viloets are blue, Thank God I'm a christian, And not a jew.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

How do you get a fat man to go outside? Blow up his house

thumb_up thumb_down +6

[Set up] [No punch line]

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Roses are red, violets are blue, This is false, Violets are purple.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops