A man walks into a house, and the next day was taken to the hospital for a minor concussion and a possible vision deficiency.

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What does a banana and a helicopter have in common? Neither of them are a police officer.

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Why am I constipated? I ate fiber glass insulation.

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Why are the asians on cabin services? Because they do not speak english well enough to converse with guests.

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Roses are red My name is Dave This poem makes no sense And it doesn't rhyme either

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Spongebob. "Hey Patrick, I thought of something funnier than 24." Patrick "Let me hear it." Spongebob "25"

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Why did sally fall off the swing? Because her grandfather hit her with a wrench.

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Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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were did the gay guy go nowere because it was raining outside

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i saw amango it splootered

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What's the difference between a pile of dead baby's and a Cadillac? I don't have a Cadillac in my garage...

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SHUT UP, yes you... WHAT DID I JUST SAY!!!!

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Why did the puppy get shot? It lived in Detroit.

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What's the difference between a pizza and a jew? A pizza is an Italian food and a jew is a human that practices the Jewish faith

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What happened when Glen jumped off a building? The rope snapped his neck. He died.

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What is the difference between a ginger and a pile of bricks? nothing. nothing at all.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It is not a sentient animal and is unaware of the dangers it will face.

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What do you call a white man? A caucasian male.

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Q: How man Jews can you fit in a box? A:if your German than you tell me.

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Why couldn't Jimmy run in the track race? Because he has been paralyzed since he was 3, due to a horrible accident

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It had completed its task on the aforementioned other side and was returning back to the coop for a feeding now that the sun had set.

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One day, a mother was talking with her three daughters. "Mommy," the first one asked, "Why did you name me Daisy?" "Because when we took you home, a daisy petal fell on your head." "Mommy," the second one said, "Why did you name me Rose?" "Because when we took you home, a rose petal fell on your head." "MMMMBBBWWAAAAAAAAAGGGGGHHHHH!" the third daughter cried. She was born with severe cognitive damage and is incapable of coherent speech.

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Q-how did the blind man cross the road? A-with a guide dog

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What did the fork say to the spoon? To get to the other side.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops