Q: What cat walks on two feet? A: Garfield Q: What mouse walks on two feet? A: Mickey Mouse Q: What duck walks on two feet? A: Donald Duck? A: No, all ducks you dipshit.

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What's big, black, and impossible to swallow? A parking lot. Among many other things.

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What did muscleman say to his dad? You know who else is my dad? MY MOM!

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You: Hey, I have a good knock knock joke, here, you start! -and if all goes well...- Them: Knock knock! You:Who's there? Them: Uhh...

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What happens when Lord Voldemort tries to kill Harry Potter? He is unsuccessful.

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What is brown and sticky?… A shit…

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Why did the Albino cross the road? He was going to the skin pigment store.

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What is the difference between a dead baby and a watermelon? One is fun to hit with a sledgehammer while the other is just a water melon.

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How do all Asians look? With their eyes.

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Roses are Red grass is greener every time i think of you i touch my weiner

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You know what they say about a man's feet... No i don't.

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How do you know when you have had too much to drink? When you ran over 7 pedestrians and are lying in the back of a police vehicle

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What's brown and sticky? Poop.

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Q: Whats the difference between porno and your mom? A: I can masturbate to porno

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noah is a scrub jungle

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Violets are blue Roses are red I stabbed you 37 times in the chest Now you're dead

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Someone just commented on my joke! ... oh wait it was myself

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What did the bad boy get for Christmas? Incurable cancer.

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Why didn't the boy answer the phone when it was ringing? Because he had no arms to pick it up.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was an animal with a small brain and could not comprehend the situation.

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Roses are Red Violets are Red My Garden is on Fire.

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What did the black fire-fighter do when the house caught fire? The heroic man ran inside and got every animal and person inside to the out side and then proceeded to extinguish the flames with his fire-extinguisher out, thus saving most of the families valuables. He was then awarded a raise in his salary for his heroic valor. Although any fire-fighter could have done this because of the hard work and dedication that is put into training. So really describing the race that this heroic man is was totally pointless.

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Once upon a time

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What did Helen Keller say to her friend? Nothing. If you didn't know, she was deaf and blind so she had to use Sign Language.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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