Have you heard the joke about the cat? No Are you kitten me

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a man was cooking a tortilla. what did he say when he dropped it while flipping the tortilla? oops i dropped my tortilla

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What's black and white and red all over? A dead Zebra

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Why was there no girl on the swing set? She decided to get off of the swings.

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What do you call a man with a horse? A man

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Someone asked me "What rhymes with Orange?" I replied "Door hinge." He punched me.

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There was a blonde driving a car but she was late to a meeting so she started speeding but then a police officer pulls her over. The officer asked the blonde "Do you know how fast you were going?" to which the blonde responded "Yes, I am late to a meeting" so the police gives a ticket for speeding and she ends up going late to her meeting.

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can you pass the soap?

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Why did Suzy fall of the swing? She didn't have arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Suzy.

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Spongebob. "Hey Patrick, I thought of something funnier than 24." Patrick "Let me hear it." Spongebob "25"

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What did the mother say when the train hit her? Bad train! We don't hit!

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What did the bi-polar girl do when she found our her ex-boyfriend was living with another woman? Nothing; she was happy for their new relationship and realized life moves on, in addition to taking the daily appropriate amount of medication prescribed by her doctor.

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Whats happening when you see your TV floating at night? You are probably suffering from some sort of mental disorder which causes spontaneous hallucinations and should seek medical help before the condition worsens.

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What goes from pink to red in 5 seconds? A pink shirt when red pain is spilled on it.

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Q: How do you know if you have had too much to drink? A: When you find a bloody hole where your kidney is.

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What more orange that a lime? Most things.

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knock knock who is there who who who your an owl

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Red are roses Blue are violets Dyslexic am I.

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What did Michelle Obama get for Christmas? Cancer

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What did the spatula say to the door handle? Nothing. Inanimate objects are incapable of speaking.

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the water? You shouldn't call him anything. He needs help. -Tag

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Why was Six afraid of Seven? Seven was in a horrible car accident recently and became very disfigured. He didn't tell Six, so the initial shock of seeing him for the first time was quite jarring for Six. Seven has had multiple surgeries since and, once the swelling recedes, he should look much better. It will still hurt for him to chew though.

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WARNING: this is a black joke Why does everybody hate darth vader? he is all black

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Why is the world going to end on 9 December 2014? I don't know why, but IT IS

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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