Did you hear the joke about the butter? No.

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What's the difference between Miley Cyrus and a dead baby? One is a popular singer and the other is a dead baby.

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guess what the clown said to the kid... im a clown

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How do you make a plumber sad? You kill his family.

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Why aren't dragons real? Because if any animal were to breath fire (let alone have a gland that produced it), they would cease to live for their necks would scorch from the inside out.

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Why did the homosexual man buy the antijoke book he enjoys reading

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Why did Sally fall of the swing? Breaking news! An 18 wheeler has gone loose and hit a playground damaging a swing, 1 fatality and 16 children injured 5 in critical condition

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What is dull and has no point? A pencil without its point

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A duck walks into a bar. Animal control is notified, and the duck is released into a nearby park.

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, I chucked a shit and flushed the toilet.

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There are 4 people in a crashing plane, but there are only 3 parachutes. But, the teenage girl says she is depressed and cannot go on. The older woman breaks down into tears because she is reminded of her rough child hood. The two 21 year old twins start crying, too, because they were corrupted by their alcoholic father who would come home and abuse their family. As they were all crying, the two pilots and the flight attendant took the parachutes and jumped. The older woman realized she went to flight school when she was young so she took control. They were are happy and drank a little bit too much alcohol and got drunk. The pilot also drunk and crashed into a huge skyscraper. This catastrophe was later named 9/11.

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A man walks into a pizza place and orders a pizza. When he got the pizza, he saw it had pepporonis on it. He liked that, so he ate the pizza.

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A man walks into a bar and gets drink

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There's this traveling merchant from Flint, MI. He goes door to door trying to sell shampoo. He is having a lot of trouble selling shampoo in Flint because they were hit hard during the recession and now ahve trouble affording even the most seemingly cheap products.

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what do you call a man with no arms or legs sitting at your doorstep? matt what do you call a man with no arms or legs floating in the water? bob what do you call a man that just had his daughter taken away from him? ...sam

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Why do women have boobs? In order to feed their infants

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How do you get an elephant into a refrigerator? you open the door and guide him inside

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Roses are red Violets are blue Tulips are yellow Grass is green

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When do you know when to stop making anti- jokes? when your done with your joke and click submit.

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what is worse than falling off a bridge? .. getting pushed off a bridge

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Whats the difference between KFC and Starbucks? KFC didn't murder your sister.

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Why couldn't the emo kid finish reading his book? Because he was on the titanic when it sank.

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Justin Beiber has fame, his own bodyguards, he has performed many shows and has everyone's attention. What do you have? A penis.

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Have you ever just woken up one day and thought, "I don't wanna wear pants today."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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