What happened to the girl that thought she was a mermaid? She drowned, humans can't breathe under water.

Why did Mr. Moseley choose to not buy crest toothpaste this month? Because your daughter got an abortion.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because grass don't eat meat.

Why didn't the octopus have any friends? Because they are antisocial creatures by nature. -Louis

FOX News: Fair and balanced

Sally has no arms. A: Knock kock? B: Whose there? Not Sally.

Why was the boy put on his socks? So he wouldn't get blisters.

Whats faster than a mexican running down the street with your TV? An airplane

Your mama was so fat that when she did the splits she gave the floor a hickey

Why is it scientifically proven that even Spider-Man would be a match for Superman? Because none exist. Moral: The only Super Hero... not scientifically proven, but I exist so that makes me stronger than both of them!

Q. Why can’t a Skeleton Lift Weights? A. He’s all bone & no muscle.

what word starts with the letter N and ends with the letter R that you never wanna call a black person? Neighbor

What do you call a black man running faster than a white man? Usain Bolt

Why did the chicken cross the road? 'Cause he wanted to get squashed by the giant pancake.

What did the White lady say to the Black lady? Hello, how are you?

Why did tigger look in the toilet? Because he is being treated in a mental institution and eats his own fecal matter.

shirt and blue, i call this one snow white, to score and seven years a jo, six samurai kageki, coral, 50 piece, specific frame, whats with that one, amy, hoption, smell my butt, smell my balls, smell my fart, smell my poop, urgay, pringles,

Why did the man walk into the grocery store? Because he had run out of peanut butter

How do u get a dog to sit? Teach it to sit then tell it to sit.

Knock-Knock Who's there? The The Who? The Beatles!

It's not gay until eyes meet or tips touch.

A man walks into a bar and orders four shots. Before the bartender asks "If it really is that bad of a day". The man says "Yea I need this shit". The next day the bar is overwhelmed with police and investigators. The bartender had emptied a revolver in the tired business man's face and vanished.

Whats black and white and red all over? A dead zebra

so a black guy, an asian, and a scott are sitting at a bar, they drink responsibly, pay their tab, and leave. The evening couldn't have been more pleasant.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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