Your mama so fat she often lays awake at night wondering if you father is happy with their sex life. He isn't.

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Why did the teacher need sunglasses? Because she taught in a classroom with a very big window and the sun kept getting in her eyes.

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Some Minions have one eye, others have two. And nobody seems to care.

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Why did the ginger go to hell? Because after all the bullying she endured for her hair color, she felt her only option was to commit suicide.

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What smells like diarrhea and looks like poop? A rotten banana.

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What walks on the three legs? Martin, he was born with a tragic birth defect and struggles to make a living.

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Two elderly men were sat next to a children's playground... They were there to pick up their grandchildren because their parents were at work.

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This guys grandma comes to live with him. While shes there she has a stroke. He rushes her to the hospital and waits for her to come out of surgery. The doctor comes out and says "i got good news and bad news" The guy says " give me the bad news" the doctor says "your grandma has had a massive stroke and wont be able to go to the bathroom by herself or eat by herself, so you'll have to feed her baby food and change her Diaper for the rest of her life." So then the guy goes " well shit whats the good news" The doctor goes "Ahh im just kidding she died"

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Girl, why are you crying? I'm not a girl, I'm a strawberry.

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Knock Knock whos there? a black man ohh ok come in

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A classic (apologies if it's been posted before): A woman was riding the bus home after a day of shopping. Suddenly she jumped up, shouting "may aspirins! My aspirins!" The driver replied: "You probably left them on the counter at the drugstore."

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What happened when a star exploded? It killed billions of other sentient beings.

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why did the clown cross the road? to kill everyone in the dark knight midnight premiere

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Sammy bought 48 donuts. He ate 36. What was Sammy left with? Diabetes. Sammy was left with diabetes.

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My dog has no nose, how does it smell? Using its anus.

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add me on facebook guys , im sexy , i get mad girls and guys, im bisexual , and im a blood (the gang) http://www.facebook.com/brock.beatty.1?ref=ts

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A Russian gentleman walks into a bar and requests a vodka which the bartender promptly supplies. Shortly thereafter a Turkish gentleman enters escorting a Llama on a leash and requests a vodka to which the bartender responds: "Your animal is not allowed on the premise, I am going to have to ask you to leave." The Turkish gentleman apologizes for his ignorance of the local customs and excuses himself, and shortly thereafter the Russian finishes his Vodka, pays, and leaves as well.

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Knock knock Who's there? Hi I'm John from the jehovah witness society down the street and I'd love to talk to you about your beliefs! Would you like a pamphlet?

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A black child gives away his piece of fried chicken. He is allergic, and eats some watermelon instead.

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why was the boy sad his whole family just died in a plane crash

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Are we in Tennessee? Because I recently saw on the side of the road that it was 10 miles to Memphis.

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Joke- Blah Blah Blah, punch line -LOL -Shut the hell up

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What happens when you finish a bottle of Sprite? You finish it

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Guess what I was with your mom last night so I wraped her in foil and put her in the oven.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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