If life give you lemons, throw them at people.

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How do you eat a sandwich With yo mouth bi tch

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What do u call a man who is smart. A lawyer/ genius/ smart man

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Why did Bob drop his ice cream? Because he got hit with a super models TIttys

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Q: A policeman is working past a room. The window is too high to see in. The person hears "no John, don't", and then a gunshot. He rushes inside and sees a dead body on the floor with a gun beside him. Also in the room are a doctor, a lawyer and a priest. Without asking any questions, he immediately arrests the priest. Why? A: Because the priest is the only male in the room.

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A 16 year old boy and girl have unprotected sex. The girl becomes pregnant and decides to keep the baby. They both drop out of high school, get lots of government cheese, and the boy holds a steady job as manager at the local mcdonalds for the rest of his life.

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Q: What is the difference between a potato chip and a frog? A: Neither one of them is a flower.

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What is the difference between a refrigerator? Seven anchors because blue isn't vital for turtles to fornicate.

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What do you call a black man that can steal, shoot, and jump? A basketball player.

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Why did the woman call 911? Fire.

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Why do ducks have flat feet? To stomp out forest fires Why do elephants have flat feet? To stomp out flaming ducks

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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whats the difference between this joke and other jokes other jokes have a punch line

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BRANDON LUI ROCKSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

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What do you call a woman in the kitchen? Her name.

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How did the seal die? It went clubbing ... Then overdosed on ecstasy, it was very sad.

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Take wrong turns

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Shut up max im not fucking demented u dickhead

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josh moran where your Bluetooth gone?

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…What did you put in the drink that made me fart, and kill my horse?

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What did the dead woman say to the murderer nothing dead people cant talk

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What's worse than crying over spilt milk? The Holocaust.

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Why do black people love kool aid? It is cools them down on a warm summer day and it tastes great! OHHHH YEAAAAHHHHH

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Why did the little girl fall of the swing? Because she had no arms.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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