What did a boy dying from cancer get for Christmas? The news that his cancer progressed and he would soon die. He underwent a surgery that got rid of the cancer and he was cured. He ran out of the hospital in excitement and got hit by a bus. He recovered slowly, but lived. By this time it was June and his birthday, he returned to school later that year. He got called fat and committed suicide.

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Two pretzels were walking down an alley way, one was assaulted. In a instinctive move, the other quickly ran away and alerted the authorities. The assaulted pretzel was severely injured but slowly recovered covered from physical trauma and has now sought professional help to deal with it's great deal of post traumatic stress.

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Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson are camping out. After they set up their tent and get inside to go to sleep, they look up at the stars. Holmes asks Watson to make a deduction. "Well, Holmes, I think it's highly probable that other planets outside our own, among those many stars up there, could have sentient life." Holmes points up and says, "Someone stole our tent, you idiot."

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What is Cleopatra's favorite cookie? A: Chips Ahoy

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What's black, blue, and read all over? The newspaper.

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Why did the man get go to sleep? He got hit in the face with a hammer.

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Hey i just raped you and this is crazy so delete my number and keep the baby

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will you like this joke my sources say no

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Q: How many elephants can fit inside a Volkswagen Beetle? A: Four.

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Q: How many different Pokèmon are there? A: Pokèmon aren't real.

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You know what they say about guys with big feet. They have big feet.

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A terminte walks into a pub and ask is the bar tender here?

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Knock Knock Who's there? The police. Open up.

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Why do giraffes have long necks? So they can reach higher, un-eaten leaves.

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What's the difference between black guy and a bucket of shit? The bucket

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Why was the math text book so worried....… Because he had to many problems

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A jew walked into a bar Hitler said.... A jew walked out of a concentration camp

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What happened when the old man fell off the roof? He died....

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A duck walks into a bar and says, "Put it on my bill"

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I don't always drink beer but when I do, I viciously beat my wife and children.

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Knock knock, ... Little Timmy bursts into tears, Because his parents don't love him.

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how many babies does it take to paint a wall? it depends on how hard you throw 'em.

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What did the traffic light say to the car? Bye.

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Your mama so fat she often lays awake at night wondering if you father is happy with their sex life. He isn't.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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