There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

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Roses Are Red Violets Are Blue If it wasnt for christmas We would all be jewish.

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Why did the old man throw the clock out the window? Because he didn't want to go to a store that could repair it, so then he thought that it was better off on his yard where it could compost.

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Knock Knock. who's there? James. well use the doorbell.

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What's black and hangs from trees in my backyard? Nothing. Blackberries grow on bushes and I do not condone hate crimes.

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What did George Washington say to his men before crossing the Delaware River? "Men, we're crossing the Delaware River."

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Mickey Mouse peed on a house what color was it? It wasn't a color, or any pee for that matter. Mickey Mouse is a fictional character for children's amusement.

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Roses are red violets are blue monkeys like you belong in the zoo but don't be afraid I'll be there to that in the cage but laughing at you

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Why was the boy so tired? He had to carry his moms dead body up the stairs.

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What was going through the man's head on the 51st floor when the first plane hit? The 52nd floor.

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How can you tell if your roomate is gay? If he gets an erection when you have anal sex with him.

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If gluttony is a serious sin, why are so many Christians fat? Because they have bad eating habits.

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What did one lawyer say to the other? We are both lawyers. What did the stupid lawyer say to the other lawyer? We are both pineapples.

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What is long hard and woody? A tree.

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Why couldnt rex bark??? because he was a fish!

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how do you complete an exam. dont be kaizen.

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what do you get with a bulldog and a shi-tzhu 2 dogs.

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what's hotter than my cousin's girlfriend? I don't know. she's remarkably hot. like, one of the hottest people I personally know.

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for christmas? A bike

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Knock Knock Who's There? Poop. Poop who? HAHAHAHAHAHA you said poopoo

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what can jump higher than a tree? anything that can jump because everyone knows that trees cannot jump.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the sidewalk he was on does not.

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"Knock Knock" "Who's there?" "Knock Knock Knock" "Knock knock Knock who?" "Just let me in, you twat, it's freezing out here!"

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How many candles did Johnny blow out on his birthday cake? The same number of candles which corresponds to his age.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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