How do you stop an aboriginal from drowning? Take your foot off his head...

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car? Get in the car. -Tag

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tell ur mom i love her before i die this would have been a better ending to the tintanic

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Did you know that Claire Seiter likes to drinkapplseiter? No. Oh well she does..

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What do you call a black man that is on fire? A Man on Fire. The fact that he is black has no relevance in this situation.

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There was a man who entered a local paper's pun contest. He sent in ten different puns hoping at least one of the puns would win but, unfortunately, no pun in ten did.

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Why was Mr. Smith always so sad at the block party? His uncle molested him as a child, when he was 10 he finally told his mother. His mother and father later fought if they should tell the police, the mother wanted him to go to jail, and the dad didn't want to ruin his family because the uncle was his brother, and the uncle had children. Right before his mother would call the police his father stabbed her in the back, mr smith saw what happened. Him and his father hid his mothers body and mr smith"s dad told him if he tells anyone about this he will kill him. Years later when mr smith was 13 he went on drugs to ease the pain, he later became an addict, and dropped out of school. He know suffers from depression and has killed all 3 of his wives. He is wanted in many middle eastern countries. So when ever he goes to sleep he has the same dream were him mom offers him pot and right before he gets it his dad stabs her in the back. So know mr smith is sad at the block party because he will kill himself later tonight.

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What haircut did Timmy get at the barbershop? He didn't, he saved money from the barber by going through chemo.

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How do you keep an idiot busy? Give him something to do.

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Your mumma's so ugly. Period.

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Why did the mailman die? Because everybody dies.

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The man was allergic to water. He unfortunately died because water is needed to sustain health as a human.

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Why did the man ask the IPhone to marry him He was smoking weed

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What happened to the homeless man at midnight? He took a shit on the ground

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A: Can I get a tall white Russian. B: No. A: Why not? B: Because this is a Barnes and Nobles. However, we do have a Starbucks, and I can offer you a venti caramel iced coffee"

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Why did Susie fall of the swing? She had no arms. Why didn't she catch herself? She had no legs. What did she get for Christmas? Cancer. What did she get for her birthday? Nothing, she died.

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What did the Firefighter say to his crew when they put out the fire.... - Let's go home.

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Knock Knock Fuck off. I am new here. I do not know anyone here.

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WHO'S YO DADDY? the man who's semen combined with your mother's egg to create a child.

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream cone? He got hit by a bus. Why did the bus crash? It hit a boy eating an ice cream cone.

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a dog walks into a bar....it sees the horse and starts barking which ever dentally startles and confuses the horse resulting in tables and chairs being knocked over .

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What does the ship say when it's cold? Shiver me timbers

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What is better than a Beer? Two Beers.

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Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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