Why did the duck cross the road? Because he was tired of the publicity his friend, the chicken was getting for crossing the road that he wanted to do it himself. Halfway across the duck was wistfully hit by a car and sadly, his story is lesser known and 99% of the people in this world really don't care about him. Thumbs up if you're that 1% that shows sympathy toward the duck.

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Jim and Larry work together. Jim works hard, and Larry is a bit of a prankster. One day, Jim is having a rather rough day, and Larry looks to cheer him up with a good-natured joke. Knowing that Jim's wife prepares dinner for him every night of the week, he calls her and tells her that their boss has decided to pay for a dinner out, that she should take the day off and just get ready for Jim to come home and pick her up. Larry will later follow up by calling a pizza delivery place and having them send a special no hard feeling message with two large delicious pizzas. He forgets to call the pizza delivery man until later that night, after which it's too late and he thinks "I'll just explain the joke to Jim tomorrow." And goes peacefully to sleep. Arriving home and finding that dinner is not prepared, Jim savagely beats his wife.

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Three children had stumbled upon a magic slide. There was a sign on the slide stating that what ever they shouted, they would land in a pool of it at the bottom of the slide. So the first child began sliding and shouted out "JELLY" and sure enough he landed in a large pool of jelly when he reached the bottom of the slide. The next child, so excited to go down the slide began sliding down. She shouted out "LOLLIES" and sure enough she landed in a large pool of sweets and chocolates at the bottom of the slide. Finally, the youngest girl in the group mounted the slide. As she was going down she was enjoying the slide so much that she shouted "POOS POOS" forgetting the rule of the magic slide and finally landing in a large pool of excrement.

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Uh Oh you just fell, So, So I've got one thing to say to you, And what's that Don't fall it gets you down!!!!!!!!

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A lysdexic man trys to rite a joek... the people who tried reading it got confused and offered help in rewriting it.

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An alcoholic walks into a bar.... I forgot the rest of the joke but your mother is a prostitute.

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What's the difference between an elephant and a grape? They're both fruit. Except the elephant.

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Hey, is that your corvette? No, I thought it was yours.

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A man has a parrot who repeats everything the man says. He constantly complains about his mother-in-law and everytime he says her name it follows with the word bitch. One day she makes a suprise visit and he greets her with a "Oh hello Doris" , he looks in horror to see if the parrot will call her a bitch but instead finds the parrot dead because he forgot to feed it for 4 days.

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How do you confuse your algebra teacher? Tell her to prove that she exists.

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Whats more fun than swinging a baby around on a clothesline at 200 miles per hour ? Stopping it with a shovel

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Why was rebecca crying? Because her mum had just died in a house fire!!!

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Roses are red, violets are blue, if you didn't know that, go back to school.

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whats long hard and full of seamen? a submarine.

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What did the Republican say after he got off the ferris wheel but before he went on the roller coaster? "Boy, that ferris wheel sure was fun! Now I will ride the roller coaster!"

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whats the hardest answer ever? The one without a question.

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Roger D. ASS , stops, has a ponder , and walks out of a s.t.i clinic ,without being seen

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how do you wake up lady gaga? you throw her on the ground.

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binladin walks into the american seals

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Why was the unemployed dolphin trainer so sad? His life has no purpoise. In an unrelated topic, how is he unemployed id he is a dolphin trainer?

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what did the apple say to the orange, nothing fruits can't talk

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he wanted to

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What did the spoon say to the other spoon? Nothing, it is a spoon.

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How do unwed mothers celebrate Mother's Day? The same way all mothers do.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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