What does an Asian do in a library in his school? Write one of these.

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knock knock whos there. no one your hullicinating, heroine is hell of a drug

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How do you take money from a Mexican? You don't because they have none.

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What did the lady say to the boy who's parents just died? Haha, your parents just died.

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When ducks fly in a V formation do you know why one side is longer than the other? Because there are more ducks on that side.

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why does big tom run the dock because he knows how to speak to skiiers

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When life gives you lemons Unless it gives you sugar, water, and a cup your lemonade will suck

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why did the chicken eat chicken noodle soup? Because he killed his brother.

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What is green, red, and goes 70 mph? A frog in a blender

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what did the super popular, beautiful girl say to her stalker? i dont know, i wasnt the stalker.

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I dont think i could ever stab someone, I can barely get a straw through a capri sun

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Why was the wife disappointed in her husband? He hasn't been very talkative since the suicide.

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Roses are potatoes Violets are potatoes I like potatoes Potatoes.

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Why did the tomato blush? It didn't, tomatoes are naturally red by colour.

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what's worse than both your parents dying? finding out that they were hundreds of thousands of dollars in debt and they left you nothing, including the house, oh and you have to be out by the end of the week, the bank is ready to re-possess the house, especially since your parents haven't paid the mortgage for 8 months. oh, by the way, happy birthday! written by KA

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what do you get when you have an albino black man, a lesbian middle eastern siamese twin of the female gender, a polygamist indian and a jewish native american? A very cultured and diversified posse of hostages. Take your pick.

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Q: When birds fly in a "V", why is one side always longer? A: There is one extra bird on that side

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A priest enters a bar moments after a young teen walks into the same bar. The priest scolds the teen, warning him of the possibility of arrest, alcoholism, and other bad life consquences. The teen apologizes to the bartender, and much later in life, he thanks the priest.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "Why the long face?" The horse replies, "I just found out my wife has cervical cancer."

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What do you call it when a cigarette is brown instead of white? A cigarette that is or has been damp so that the nicotine was able to bleed into the paper and dye it.

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What animal was two legs and bleeds a lot? half a dog

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What red and goes up and down? A tomato in an elevator.

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Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

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Q: why didn't the asian boy ask for a calculator? A: you don't need calculators to make shoes

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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