If I had a nickel for everyday I lived...... I would get a nickel a day

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A blond, a brunette, and a redhead all entered their designated classrooms to begin AP testing. They all worked extraordinarily hard to earn a passing grade and receive college credit. The brunette and the redhead received passing, yet average, grades. The blond also received a score that reflected the amount of effort she put into studying and memorizing the material, because there is no correlation between hair color and intelligence.

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What do you call a girl who denies that she is one? Justin Beiber

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Knock knock. Who's there? Navy Seals. *BOOM* *waiting* "Yeah, he's dead." -Navy Seals

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What did the smurf say to the other smurf? Smurf

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

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Whats wrong with me? Your alive.

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Ask me if I'm on a horse. Are you on a horse? Yes, are you on a horse? No. Oh...

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A man commands his dog to sit. However, his dog is poorly trained, so does not.

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How are this and that alike? They aren't.

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A Mexican, a Jew, and a Colored guy walk into a bar, the bartender looks up and says: "What can I get you gentlemen today?"

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What's the difference between a pizza and a girl? I've stuck my penis in a pizza

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Whats funny about a man in a pink leotard ? Nothing infact i think he's very brave

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How is an elephant like a grape? They're both purple, except for the elephant.

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Why was the minority crying? He had something in his eye.

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So this guy was making a sandwich...

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What do you call a kid with no arms and an eye patch? names

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What's black and White and black and White? A nun falling down a stairs

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What do you get when you cross a dog and a cat? A hybrid animal that can never exist to do each species own genetic make-up which would subsequently reject the other's. I.E. The cat would reject the dog sperm from ever fertilizing and the dog would reject cat sperm.

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whats long and hard and full of seamen a penis

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whats the hardest part about eating a vegitable getting your mouth around the wheelchair.

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why did the chicken cross the road? because aliens dont wear purple hats.

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A man walks into a bar and orders two shots the bartender then picks up his shotgun and gives it to him

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how did the homeless man die? He got stabbed

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops