One, two, three, four and five

How do you drown a blonde? Force her head underwater until she can no longer breathe, thus shutting down her brain and killing her.

Ed Milliband knows what's best for the UK.

Whats the difference between a dead baby and a lamborghini? Dead babies are not sports cars

69

Why can't you hear a pterodactyl going to the bathroom? Because the p is silent!

your mommas so fat she should be worried about getting diabetes

why did the black guy cross the street? to get to the package store.

A jew was walking down the street what did he see? the holocaust

Q.How many babies does it take to screw in a lightbulb A.Babies are to young to screw in lightbulbs

What do you get when you cross The Incredible Hulk and King Kong? Two angry fictional characters.

What do you call a KKK member? ...racist

what happens when chuck norris loses his hokey-bar? your mother

Joey and Jack walked into a bar, and their friend Satan asked if they heard about Jesus, and they said No.

Three Jewish men walk into a butcher. They dont buy any pork products and thank the butcher for his services.

What did the chair say to the fan? Nothing. Chairs and fans are objects so they do not have the physical ability to talk.

two men write a poem one says quack the other says woof what is the middle of the number witch is amazing because who ever is reading this you are beautiful and have chucken food ion your cheek bone connected to the knee cap indeed i shall write on to you guys saying how lovley it is TO MAKE FIRENDS WITH CHICKENS

A homeless guy walked up to me and said "Any change?", to which I replied, "Nope, your still homeless". We laughed and laughed. The he stabbed me.

Roses are black Violets are black I lost my eyesight at two years old and all I see is black.

Why couldn't the kid eat his vegetables? His parents stabbed him...

Why did the girl call suicide hotline? Cuz he wanted to kill herself.

I once was told that life is like a box of chocolates, but then realized that it wasn't

what did the hobo as the other hobo? do u have any cheese?

How many surrealists does it take to change a light bulb? One, its not a difficult task.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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