Why don't woman wear watches? Because there is a clock on the stove!

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why does the pope doesn't use this finger? (raise a finger) That's mine!

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What day is it? Asked the man with a gun who dislikes music. Friday. Mostly because yesterday was thursday and tomorrow is Saturday. Sunday comes afterwards also. The man says "oh. I thought it was Tuesday."

thumb_up thumb_down -6

A man dies on the operating table and finds himself in front of the Pearly Gates. St Peter looks at him and says " You are having a hallucination due to all the drugs they have given you and because your brain releases chemicals when you die. I am not real and there is not heaven or a god." Upon resuscitation the man contemplates his hallucination and becomes an Atheist.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why were Billy's parents laughing at him? Because he was just diagnosed with cancer!

thumb_up thumb_down -6

what are you mike bibby?

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What did Stephen Hawking say to his daughter? Nothing, his illness prevents him from talking. And letting a high-tech wheelchair make human sounds isn't talking!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What did the ocean say to the other ocean? Nothing, they just waved

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What do you call a piece of celery with peanut butter on it? your moms dead

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why are black people scared of chainsaws? Because the chainsaws go run nigga nigga run.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What did the child say to the clown? For a professional entertainer, you're not that funny.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

what did the dog say to the cat? nothing cause animals dont talk.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What did the cat say to the rabbit? Nothing, cats are incapable of human speech as far as scientists are concerned. Also, the mouse was having a bad day. Rutabaga.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

A Muslim and 2 French people walked into a bar They start to have a nice conversation about Charlie Hebdo

thumb_up thumb_down -6

I got stopped for speeding the other day. The policeman said I had to pay a £50 fine. I was gutted. However, later that night I had amazing sex with my wife, which helped me to take my mind off things a bit.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What do you call a penguin in the desert? Most likely a dead penguin.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why was the blonde confused? Because someone was dressed in a chicken costume throwing pinecones at her.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What's the difference between a bowling ball and a sorority girl? You could always eat the bowling ball if you really had to.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

steven hawking walks into a bar

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What do you call a black pilot? A pilot, you racist.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

what is the difference between a baby and a book... The book still has a spine

thumb_up thumb_down -6

A white man/women works behing the counter at a 7/11

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Lindsay Lohan

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Jack and Jill went up the hill to get some exercise. They were getting terribly overweight.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops