How do you get a dog to stop humping you? Pick him up and suck his dick.

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What's the richest fish in the sea? The one you threw a quarter at.

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Why did the man give money to the Jew? Why would a man give money to a Jew?

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Q: what do you call the green and the (stone eater) animal? A:the green and the (stone eater) animal

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What did the boy with no arms or legs get for Christmas many gift card to stores he liked

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"Free to play" Play free "right now" "Free forever"

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How do you tickle a tree? you dont you are a schizo stop kicking leaves

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it

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What's black and white and red all over? A black, white, and red shirt.

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Why did the girl throw away her hairspray? Because she realized the harmful contaminants emitted from the nozzle were expediting the deterioration of the ozone layer thus contributing to global warming.

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Have you ever watched that show on Lifetime about that woman?

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's wife? Neither has he.

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what do you call a girl with a pumpkin spice coffee in her hands? Jenifer

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friend 1: Alright man, i got your back friend 2: AAAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Why is it so hard to find slim fitting clothes in America? Because not many clothing stores carry them.

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Yo mama so dumb she got hit by a bus and didn't know! The funeral was touching and sad. Everyone cried. 2 weeks later..........Johnson ended his own life.......

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What did the purple dragon say to the unicorn? He doesn't say anything to the unicorn because dragons and unicorns don't exist. Even if they did exist, dragons and unicorns can't talk, unless we're talking about cartoons. Also, even if it was a cartoon or whatever, do you really think a purple dragon has ANYTHING to say to a unicorn?! Of course not! Oh look at me I'm a cool talking dragon, I have something so important to say to this unicorn. Gimme a break...

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Can you spot the polar bear Probably not because global warming killed it

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Why did the toilet paper roll? Because it isn't rock!

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, We have your test results, You have cancer.

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Whats green and smells like a red apple? A green apple

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A neutron walks into a bar. The barman says, "for you, no charge." The neutron replies, "very funny asshole, you're just going to put it on my tab after I pass out."

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Donald Trump

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What's worse than finding half a worm in your apple? dead parents.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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