Why are there so many smiths in the phonebook? Because they all have phones.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

How do you kill a priest? Shoot him in the forehead.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

so your paddling up stream in a cement canoe, one wheel falls off. how many pancakes does it take to shingle a dog house? 46 cause bears dont like eggs.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

yo momma!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why was little Jimmy sad? Because his mum died.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What's the difference between a fat person and a whale? The quality of the fat. -Japan

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What did the little boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Cancer What did he get the next year? Nothing he didn't make it that far

thumb_up thumb_down +1

So a man and his wife were in a horrible car accident. The man died, so why isn't the wife mourning his death? Because she is also dead. But, do you know who did mourn and cry over this horrible tragedy? Their children, other family members, and friends.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Chuck Norris was in a staring contest with the sun. He's blind now.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

"It smells like up dog in here." "What's up dog?" "Not much, what's up with you?"

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Q: Whats worse then a minor fender bender? A: Dieing a long painful death by getting stabbed 27 times then getting hit by a car 2 hours later your brother finds you and told you that him and your wife have been cheating on you and your kid is his.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Wanna hear a joke? Me neither.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Q: Do you know what's the no.1 cause of pedophellia? A: Sexy kids

thumb_up thumb_down +1

yo mama so dumb... because she was not properly educated

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What's the best part of the 1980s? They're over.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

what do you call an evening with richard? a waste of time

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Your mama's so fat.... Her cerial bowl came with a lifeguard

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A man walks into a bar, politely orders one drink, sips it while having social conversations with his peers, pays his tab, and goes to take the bus home. I can respect that.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What's worse than hitting your funny bone on a chair............... Hearing one person say "its friday" then realizing that you are now singing

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Knock knock. Who's there? Jim. Oh, come in Jim!

thumb_up thumb_down +1

what did the boy say when his friend was having a panic attack? "don't panic!" rather earnestly in the hope that his friend's breathing returned to normal as panic attacks can be very uncomfortable and place too great a strain upon the cardio and respiratory functions.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What is funnier than 24? If you think numbers are funny then you could have a mental illness and that isn't quite funny.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

why don't bears wear shoes? because they have bear feet

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What did the terrorist get for Christmas? A bullet in his head.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops