A man wakes up in his bed and looks at the clock. He realises he is gonna be late for work. He quickly gets out of bed, into the bathroom, has a shower, puts his deodorant on and brushes his teeth, gets dressed, and goes in his car. He drives out of his garage and drives to his work but gets stuck in traffic. He then gets to the car park of his work and parks his car. He gets out, goes up the elevator to his floor, when the elevator door opens to his floor, he quickly says hello to Terrance and goes to his bosses office. And guess what the boss says? You're late.

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Why did the man kill himself? Because he had a gun

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A man walks into a bar with an octopus. He tells the bartender that his octopus can play any instrument. The bartender gives the octopus bag pipes. The octopus fiddles with the bag pipes but can't seem to play them. The man gives the bag pipes back to the bartender and leaves with his octopus. He is quite embarassed and decided to get bagpipe lessons for his octopus.

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What's the difference between a duck and a bicycle? They both have handlebars. Except for the duck.

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So a baby seal walks into a club.

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Did you know that every 60 seconds in Africa a minute passes

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Mary had a little lamb, But it couldn't stop her from being raped.

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4501 3346 1687 2292 david0209. never do this.

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Jemal picks 3 apples. He eats two of them, and then picks 3 more. What color was Jamal?

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Man U

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Twilight is so bad, I read it and personally didn't like it as a book.

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Why was Billy's grandma not around for Thanksgiving? Because she's dead

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What do you call a baby with a shadow? A shadow-baby!

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A black man walks out of a store. He was carrying a receipt.

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Why did the woman scream when she saw the mouse? Because she's afraid of technology.

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What was the last thing the boy heard before he was hit by the school bus? Nothing. He was deaf.

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Why was the dog barking? Because I lit him on fire.

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what did the black guy ge for christmas? a speeding ticket

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21

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Why were my arms so tired after I flew in from the coast? Because the stewardess, god rest her soul, failed to latch the door securely.

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A man walks into a bar, and promptly leaves because he left his kid in the car.

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Where did Mary go after the explosion? Everywhere.

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Allah walked into AK Bar

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You can talk the talk - but can you walk the walk?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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