A man walks outside and sits down to eat his sandwich.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why couldn't Billy the bird fly? He was an ostrich, ostriches can't fly.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

A man walks into a bar with an octopus. He tells the bartender that his octopus can play any instrument. The bartender gives the octopus bag pipes. The octopus fiddles with the bag pipes but can't seem to play them. The man gives the bag pipes back to the bartender and leaves with his octopus. He is quite embarassed and decided to get bagpipe lessons for his octopus.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

why did the boy fall over? because he was hit by a fridge that fell out of the tree.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

what do you say to the preacher when he walks into church? i dont fu***** know, im jewish.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why was the mushroom invited to the party? Because the party was a rave and some mushrooms are know to make the consumer of them hallucinate wildly.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What happened to the old man at his suprise party? He died from the shock.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

"Mommy! Look, I found a turtle!" "that's no turtle." "Oh..."

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why did Mia fall off of Lucy's bike? Because Lucy didn't like Mia and shot her in the face.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

There are two men on a dock. The first man says, "What's your name?" The second man says, "GET OFF!" because he has turrets.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What's the best part about having sex with twenty eight year olds? They've reached sexual peak but aren't yet past it. Plus, they still aren't in their 30's.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

roses red violets blue my name chad i stupid

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Whats worse then sneezing on someone? sneeze on someone and find out

thumb_up thumb_down +9

You tell me. I have amnesia.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

why did the mexican cross the road? Becuase his other one was stolen by a Black.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What is the difference between a Mexican and an a pile of crap? One is disgusting and unsanitary and the other is a pile of crap.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

whats worse than getting raped by a giant scorpion? Gingers

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why couldn't the bunny hop? Because it lost both it's legs

thumb_up thumb_down +9

A Jewish man gets on a train. He sits down and a hour and a half later he is dropped of at his proper destination.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Knock knock. MAN: Who's there? HOOKER: The hooker you called for. MAN: Oh, dear lord. My wife hasn't left yet. I need you to come back in fifteen minutes. WIFE: Honey, who is it? MAN: It's the hooker I called for, but you haven't left. I told her to come back in fifteen minutes.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Your mother is so fat that she is considered morbidly obese. In fact, she should seriously consider a weight loss diet to reduce her risk of heart disease and diabetes.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What happened when the man turned on his TV? It was tuned to the Discovery Channel

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, Or so the tell me, Because I'm Blind

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What happened when the chicken crossed the road? It entered a KFC and had the unfortunate suprise of having its head cut off.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops